Hi! I'm Caroline, and I'm stressed.
It's not just because it's about midway through the semester, which so far has brought with it midterms, three missed advising appointments (not all my fault, I promise), a mysterious hold on my account, and many other events that fall under the category of "stressful." I think the life of a college student is, just in general, rife with sleepless nights and multiple trips to Starbucks in one day (my record is three); at this point, "stressed" isn't a mental state, but a personality trait.
At the beginning of the election, I told myself I wasn't going to work myself up about it. I wasn't going to get political with my friends or classmates, I wasn't going to rant about politics on Facebook, and I especially wasn't going to allow the election to worm its way onto the list of Things That Are Stressing Out Caroline.
Confession: I have failed. Disappointing, but not unexpected. Anyway.
You have likely failed too. If you're like me, you tried hard to stay out of the fray, but inevitably got dragged in because of a more opinionated friend, or even by an issue in particular that you realized was actually important to you. And, if you're like me, you treat all election-related stress wounds with a healthy dose of carbs, cheese, and fried food. It's lucky that the election season coincides with the Season of the Winter Bod because now I can just wear a giant sweater to disguise the fact that I eat bacon for breakfast every day. See? Upsides.
Here's another silver lining: Starkville has the market cornered on foods that will cure any election woes. Southern food is the home remedy to end all other home remedies. Here are my favorite Starkville foods which I've used liberally (ha) to quell the pangs of stress from this very contentious time of year.
Sausage and Cheddar Biscuit - The Biscuit Shop
Did y'all know I love the Biscuit Shop? Probably, because I talk about it constantly, have written about it multiple times, and even own a shirt with the shop's logo. Yeah, I bleed maroon, but I also bleed whatever Michelle Tehan puts on her biscuits. To be honest, I can't even pretend that I have a favorite biscuit flavor (though the sausage and cheddar is definitely delicious). I just like these biscuits, period. Go get some, and then you can be like me - with little brown paper bags all over the inside of your car because your addiction to biscuits is out of control.
Truffle-Cheese Fries - Bin 612
My friends: if you have not yet discovered the Bin612's fries, a.k.a. the World's Greatest Cheese Fries, are you even allowed to say you live in Starkville? (Hint: the answer is no.) Combine whatever cheesy goodness they pile on those fries with the sinful deliciousness of the coveted truffle mushroom, and you've got one of the most delightful, comforting comfort foods, probably in the whole world. Be careful - they're almost too good.
Freshman 15 Burger - Bulldog Burger Company
Is that...is that fried cheese on that burger?
Yes. The answer is yes.
If that isn't enough to convince you, there's also bacon on this glorious sandwich. Have I ordered this burger at least five times? Perhaps. But no shame - a good burger is worth whatever I have to subject myself to at the gym the next day (or week, more like).
Choriqueso - La Terraza
There is some kind of heated debate about which Mexican restaurant in Starkville is best. Personally, I have eyes (and tastebuds) only for La Terraza (or, as it's affectionately known here, LaTa), mostly because of their predisposition to smother every dish in cheese. The choriqueso is no different; it's exactly what it sounds like. Chorizo (possibly the most underrated sausage) gets a heaping portion of melty queso and a healthy serving of chips. In a word? Perfect.
Darth Mocha - Strange Brew Coffeehouse
Fact: I have never had a bad coffee from Strange Brew, so it's difficult to say which is my favorite. The Darth Mocha is a perfect mix of white and dark chocolate, with just the right amount of coffee. Not overly sweet, and definitely peppy enough to get you through that 7 A.M. lab (or that rerun of the last debate - yikes). The pastries are awesome too (try the pumpkin bread!) and they also sell their flavored coffee by the bag - sweet potato is my favorite.
S’mores Cheesecake Parfait - The Camphouse
Marshmallows? Check. Chocolate? Check. Graham cracker crumbs? Check. Cheesecake? Check. The Camphouse is one of Starkville's newer restaurants, and I highly recommend you venture over there on one of their "make your own mac and cheese" nights, and order the S'mores Cheesecake Parfait for dessert; it's pretty, and it's delicious. It's pretty delicious.
Rotel & Chips - Mugshots
You've been to Mugshots. I know you have. (If you haven't, are you okay? Do you need a ride? I can totally take you.) But have you actually been to Mugshots if you haven't had the Rotel and Chips? No, you haven't. Rotel is the perfect prelude to whichever burger suits your fancy, and you can even get it with ground beef (in case you needed more beef in your life. I do).
Truffle Mac & Cheese - Restaurant Tyler
Is there such a thing as eating "too much cheese"?
...Don't answer that. Just go to Restaurant Tyler and order the Truffle Mac and Cheese. As I've already mentioned, truffle mushrooms are one of the great joys of this world, and in times of trouble, one should always turn to cheese. Hence, this perfect combination of the two. I also recommend the chicken and waffles (though there's no cheese on that. Oh well).
Go forth and consume, and forget that you've ever heard the words "nasty," "bigly," "deplorable," and "hombres." Bye!