Sweatpants, swollen eyes, dark circles, and extra large cups of coffee. What are all of these characteristics of? A college student. Studying for exams can feel more like "The Hunger Games," except the only thing you're "fighting" is procrastination. But, sometimes your procrastination gets a little too out of hand and you find yourself clothes-pinning your eyelids open at 4am while reading a textbook you haven't seen since the first day of classes.
Pulling off an all-nighter takes serious skill; only those who have mastered the art of procrastination can perfect it. They can be difficult to get through but luckily for you, I have the steps you will need to successfully pull off an all-nighter.
1. Procrastinate!
The first step to a successful all-nighter is to procrastinate! After all, you wouldn't have to stay up all night if you had done your work. So, kick back and relax. This step is by far the easiest because it requires you to do absolutely nothing. You have to read two textbook chapters for your political science class? Go on YouTube instead and watch Buzzed videos until your eyes gloss over! By avoiding all of the work you don't have to do immediately, you will have successfully completed this step!
2. Begin to (slightly) worry about your upcoming exam.
The second step is to start worrying! You didn't realize that the exam was that close, did you? Once you've finished thinking about all the possible outcomes of doing poorly on the test, you can stop worrying. Keep the thought of the looming exam in the back of your mind, though. It will definitely come in handy when you feel like you just need to feel anxious!
3. Attempt to study.
Its a few days before your big test. You have all the material you need laid out in front of you, a pen, your notebook and textbook. So, begin to flip through some of the material that may be on the test. But make sure to stop completely once you get a little bit bored! This is a crucial aspect of this step because if you do not stop studying, there will be no material left to study at 5am on the day of your test!
4. Begin to study, and worry.
Your exam is in less than 18 hours and you have six weeks of information to cover. Now is the time to study, and also the time to worry about the possibility of failing. Break out those index cards and highlighters; you're really going to need them!
5. Take a "well-deserved" break.
Once you've been studying for what seems like an eternity, take a break! Even though you've only been reading your notes for eight minutes, you need to relax. After all, you do have an exam tomorrow. Make the most of your time. Refresh every social media app on your phone at least five times so that you're up-to-date. Send a few texts in your favorite group chat and join in on the discussion about plans for the weekend. In general, do anything else besides study.
6. Have a quick reality check that may involve a mental breakdown (or two).
With the clock ticking down the minutes until your exam, you realize how much information you need to learn in such a short amount of time. Now is the time to laugh, cry and maybe even yell. Curse yourself for being so lazy and promise to never procrastinate like this again.
7. Stay Awake.
This step defines who are the winners, and who are the losers. You are a fighter. You are a soldier. You are a warrior! Combat that sleep in any way possible, just make sure to stay awake. You're going to need a pick-me-up while reading about things you're sure you haven't learned. Anything caffeinated, like coffee or Red Bull, will become your best friend. They'll help keep you awake, and probably give you the jitters.
