Every time I go to the hairdresser I have the same experience. That led me to believe that I cannot be the only one who goes through the same process. I cannot be alone. It is not that I do not like getting my hair cut. I do, really. I love the feeling of a fresh cut. However, the trust that is placed into the hands of the hairdresser causes a rollercoaster of emotions that can best be described through these ten stages.

1. Excitement

You have decided that now is the perfect time for a new haircut. You are feeling good; new haircut, new you. Your hair was way too long to begin with so a haircut was long overdue. You have a hair cut in mind and you imagine yourself looking fly and feeling great afterward.

2. Going to the Hairdresser

You are doing it. You are at the hairdresser. You walk in a little nervous, but feeling good. It is your turn to have your hair cut. There is no going back now. You try not to make a fool of yourself, sitting down in the swivel chair. Now you are staring at yourself awkwardly in the mirror while the hairdresser is putting a cape around you.

3. Explaining How You Would Like Your Hair to Be Cut

Prompted by the question “So what would you like today,” you find difficulty explaining just exactly what it is that you would like. You awkwardly pull your hand out from underneath the smock and point to your hair desperately hoping that your hairdresser understands what the heck you are talking about. They nod yes but you can tell they really have absolutely no clue what you are talking about. You already know this is going to be a disaster.

4. The First Cut

This is it. They are doing it. They are really going to cut your hair. Oh my gosh. There is no going back now. You are committed. It has only been one snip and you hate it. What are they doing?? Do they know how to cut hair? YOU THOUGHT YOU TOLD THEM AN INCH?! You pray and pray that it will come out well.

5. The Painful Small Talk

The hairdresser begins to talk to you and you attempt to respond to this painful small talk. They ask you about school and what you are studying. However, you are only focused on every cut they are making to your hair. You are just praying that they just stop talking and focus on your hair... at least it is not the dentist.

6. Mid-Haircut

The small talk has subsided but this has made for a long awkward period of time when you don’t know what to do. Does the hairdresser want you to tilt your head this way or that way? What do you look at? Do you start up small talk again? The whole situation is inevitable. You don’t show any emotion indicating how the haircut is until the very end when you flash a quick smile.

7. Shampoo

The answer is yes. You do not know why the hairdresser even bothers asking if you want a rinse and shampoo. This is arguably the best part of the haircut, except when the water is piping hot. You attempt to play it off cool when they splash water into your eyes by accident.

8. The Review

Your haircut is finally over and you are asked, “How does this look?” You stare at yourself in the mirror, trying not to shed a tear, so you put on a fake smile and respond with a “Yup! I love it! It looks great!” When, in reality, you are silently dying inside because your haircut is atrocious. This was NOT what you asked for. You knew this was a bad decision.

9. The Car Ride Home

Tears, screaming, profane comments - you name it. You have never seen a more hideous haircut in your life. You decide you can't go out in public or have any photos taken of you for at least a week. You might as well have cut all of your hair off.

10. Reluctant Acceptance

Whether you like it or not, your haircut is here to stay. You groan and sulk for an appropriate amount of time before you come to terms that, you suppose, it is fine. "It is just a haircut," you tell yourself. Your friends will tell you that it is fine and that you should stop worrying, but you remember you have that one friend who will no doubt point out the disaster that is your haircut.

11. The Cycle Repeats

Before you know it, the time has come again for another haircut. This time will be different, you're sure of it.

It won't be. It never is.