Growing up with an older brother is quite painful and fun all in one. There are a few stages many of us all go through before we reach that point in our relationship where we truly understand our childhood, reflect on the past, and grow closer together. Brothers love to mess around with their little sisters, make them buy them food, make them watch what they want to watch, and bully them. They also like to embarrass you in front of your friends and joke around with you just because they know how gullible you are. A brother-sister bond is something very special and a relationship very different from other sibling relationships.

Stages:

“I’m an older brother!” (Ages 1-5)

From ages 1-5, an older brother is really excited to have a new sibling in the family. They finally have someone to play with, and they are taught to be protective and love their younger sibling. He tries to lift you up, put you on his lap, and tell you what to do. Eventually you grow up mimicking him, doing the same funny faces in pictures, and looking up to him as a role model.

“I wish you were a boy stage” (Ages 5-8)

So by this age, I guess you could say the honeymoon part of your relationship is over. Your older brother no longer thinks you are cute, you’re cheeks are no longer fun to squeeze, and he begins to wish he had a younger brother to play with instead of a younger sister. From personal experience, my brother went through this stage and wanted me to be a boy so I could play basketball and baseball with him in the backyard. This obviously led to me putting my hair up in a baseball cap, and acting like a boy.

“Ok, you might not be a boy, but I am going to treat you like a boy” (Ages 9-12)

Next comes the acceptance part of your relationship with an older brother. He finally accepts that you are not a little brother, but he still treats you like one. This includes playing video games with each other and making up violent games that involve pegging a ball at one another (mostly me because I could never beat him at our made up game). This is also the age that he thinks teasing you is fun. People say the older one always gets in trouble, but I swear I was always the one who used to get into trouble because of his constant teasing and my constant crying.

“I don’t want to play with you or hangout with you anymore” (Ages 13-16)

When we start to enter our teenage years at the same time as our brothers, there isn’t much of a relationship for a little. We are too old to play games and we begin to like different things. We also become to self-involved with making friends, playing sports, and finding different interests. We also have very different levels of maturity where we can’t form a bond. When I was thirteen, I was a teenage girl that my brother couldn’t stand, and when my brother was sixteen I thought he was a stuck up smart-a$$. At this age I would want to watch Disney Channel while he wanted to watch ESPN. It’s just kind of an awkward stage.

“I need your advice on a situation” (16-19)

But once we grow up more in the next few years, everything changes. And that’s the best part. We go from that awkward gap to an age where we can relate to one another, joke around, and get advice from one another. I mean by the time I was 16/17, my brother and I were able to have mature conversations. He even started asking me for advice on girl situations, and I looked up to him for advice. This also the age where you’re brother’s protective instincts come out again. He begins to realize that you’re his little sister and that it’s his job to look out for you, help you out, and makes sure that no one ever messes with you.

“Can we hangout and watch a movie together” (19-21)

We may not want to ride bikes, play basketball, or make up games at this age, but we are finally at the age where we want to watch movies together, grab lunch, and hangout again. At this point, when you are both in college, or if he is in college and you’re at home, there’s always excitement to get to see each other again Brother-sister relationships are different because we don’t share clothes, we don’t help each other with make-up, we don’t braid each others hair, and we don’t tell secrets to each other. A brother-sister relationship involves arguing, fighting, being forced to watch sports, getting violent, constantly tattle-tailing, being forced to play Yugio/Pokemon, and eventually a relationship where you guys can confide in one another.

Everyone has a different relationship with their sibling, but for those of you with older brothers I am sure you can relate! My brother Armaan and I have grownup facing all these different stages, and I am sure we will go through more, but reflecting on the past and seeing how we have both grown up and created such a great relationship makes me appreciate him even more.