Spring, the season for fun, the great outdoors, and “spring cleaning,” is upon us. The sunny weather brings a fresh attitude on life. But as we all know, a life of newness requires a little bit of discarding of the old. We associate “spring cleaning” with the organization of messy rooms, backpacks, purses, homes, and cars. But we often forget that we can apply this theory to our love lives.
Whether you’ve endured a long, lonely winter, or you spent the last few months curled up in a warm bed with a significant other, it is now spring, the perfect time to re-evaluate your relationship status.
Spring, the season for fun, the great outdoors, and “spring
cleaning,” is upon us. The sunny weather brings a fresh attitude on life. But
as we all know, a life of newness requires some ditching of the outdated. Though we typically associate “spring cleaning” with the organization of messy rooms,
backpacks, purses, homes, and cars, we often forget that this theory can be applied to our love lives.
Whether you’ve endured a long, lonely winter, or you've spent the last few months curled up in a warm bed with a significant other, it is now spring, the perfect time to re-evaluate your relationship status.
If you're in a relationship, weigh the pros and cons.
If you decide that you love “me,” more than you love, “we,” then stop wasting your time and get out of this relationship. It’s not selfish to take a little time figuring out who you are without someone else. In fact, I firmly believe that if you are not your happiest self in a relationship, or you do not have more-than-mediocre feelings for someone that you’re dating, you shouldn't be with them. College is a time to find yourself, date around, and figure out what you like—sort of like practice for when you are looking for a serious life partner, and dare I say it, marriage. We tend to forget that college is the warm up for real life and take these casual relationships a bit too seriously.
So ask yourself this question: Do I want to marry this person?
If your answer is yes, which is absolutely acceptable, then continue the conversation. Figure out what you really love about this person. Ask for more of it, whatever that may be—gifts, attention, romance, or adventure. Think about what you dislike about them, and share these feelings. Don't be shy, because a new season is a time for new beginnings. It could be the perfect time to set some new boundaries or break some old ones down.
If your answer is no, then don't be afraid to ditch the clutter. The motto of "spring cleaning" is as follows: "out with the old, in with the new," so if you think it may be time to let go of the past and explore your other options, don't be afraid to do it.
When assuming this route, however, remember that just because the spring weather is beautiful, the break-ups that come with it can get really, really ugly. To avoid the messiness of a confused break-up, sensitivity and clarity are key to the conversation whether you are doing the dumping or you are, unfortunately, the dumpee. The whole point of change is to move on, and you cannot do so if any lingering issues are holding you back. Even a breakup requires a commitment -- ironic, isn’t it?
If you’re already single, or “spring cleaning” finds you in the midst of a break up, do not fret. Spring is practically Christmas for singles, and during this "most wonderful time of the year," the possibilities for romance are endless.
Before you start searching for something new, you should first evaluate what you already have. Maybe there’s someone that’s already in your life, a friend that you’ve been thinking about differently lately, or someone that you have been seeing casually. If you decide to pursue one of these relationships, consider two questions:
Is this going to be a spring fling or is this relationship made to last? Singles tend to dig themselves in a hole when they forget to ask themselves what they really want before they jump into a relationship. If you’re looking for a spring fling, then be open-minded. In this post-winter, pre-summer, in between phase, you shouldn't dwell on what you could add to your life. My advice is to just go for it. If you’re not taking love too seriously, then you should take some risks. If you’re considering a full-on relationship, you’ll want to be much more cautious in making any decisions.
Next, ask yourself: how much am I willing to lose? Although spring is a time to take chances and go after what you want, you should make sure that you are prepared to accept all of the possible consequences if anything goes South.
If you decide that nothing that you already have your sights on is worth the trouble and potential clutter, look for something new. By new I mean someone that you have not yet become acquainted with AND someone that is different than people you have dated in the past. Like I said, this is the perfect time to test the waters and decide what you are looking for in a partner. How can you know unless you try?
The most important thing to realize about spring cleaning, however, is that you’re doing it for yourself. Sometimes you just need to clear out some breathing room, and if this is the case, don’t feel obligated to replace that newfound clarity with anything at all. In fact, I encourage you to avoid the unnecessary items—or, in this case, people—as they tend to generate unnecessary worry, which can just re-clutter up your life all over again. So say yes to the good, don't hesitate to say no to the bad, and whatever you do, avoid falling back into old routines.
