How To Spot A Bad Friend

How To Spot A Bad Friend

Keep an eye out for those bringing you down.

Sometimes a friendship may feel like it has more downs than ups. It may feel very one sided and seem like you're really doing all the work that goes into keeping a friendship.

Keep an eye out for these things:

They only give non-apology apologies.

If you're hurt by something, they'll say things like "I'm sorry you feel that way", "I'm sorry you found out", where it should be "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings", "I'm sorry I said that".

They're never there when you need them.

You're there to answer the phone at any hour when they get upset about a boy that doesn't like them back, but when you reach out to them about a crisis you're having, they never seem to be around.

They don't make time for you.

A friendship is a two-way street. Even if it's having a fifteen minute coffee break together once a month, that one-on-one time is really crucial for a stable friendship. They say they "can't" fit you into their busy schedule. It's about making time, not having time.

You have to compete for their attention.

Group gatherings are hard, especially when it's the first time you've seen them in a while. You can't seem to get them to stick around for a short conversation; their attention always seems to drift away from you. If you are spending time together, they're much more focused on what's happening on their phone than what the two of you are doing.

They make your feelings seem invalid.

Everyone is entitled to have their own feelings. They'll put you down for being upset about something that "isn't a big deal" to them. Back to the non-apologies, they're more sorry that you took their words to heart than they are about saying them.

They judge you.

Whether it's what you're wearing, the person you're dating, or the activity you're involved in, they always seem to come up with something that just puts you down about it.

Friendships can be hard. If you find yourself in a bad friendship, stand up for yourself! Tell it like it is! You deserve so much better.

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A Letter To My Best Friend On Valentine's Day

Because you are my ultimate Valentine.

To my beautiful best friend,

Warning: This letter is about to get extremely cheesy. I am talking four cheese lasagna cheesy. But no one deserves a love letter like this more than you do.

This Valentine’s Day, I want to express my love for you. On this wondrous occasion with which most people express their love to their significant other, I want to tell you, my best friend, how much I cherish our friendship.

SEE ALSO: A Valentine's Day Love Letter To My Girl Best Friends

You are the ultimate love of my life. Boys have come and gone but you remain a constant; for that I am grateful. You have been there for me when my family could not be; for that I am grateful. You have been my backbone, my rock, and all those other clichés people use to describe the people they care about, and yet you have been so much more than that as well; for that I am grateful.

All my love this Valentine’s Day goes out to you, my friend, because you do not receive it enough. You have picked me up out of the dirt, brushed me off, and kissed my wounds more times than I can count, and I will never be able to thank you enough for that, but I am sure am going to try.

Thank you for the midnight cries. Thank you for the midnight laughs. Thank you for ordering way too much food with me and still just eating it all. Thank you for the advice, both solicited and unsolicited. Thank you for telling me what I need to hear, even when it isn’t what I want to hear. Thank you for the silly pictures. Thank you for the stupid inside jokes. Thank you for making bad decisions with me. Thank you for laughing with me and laughing at me. Thank you for the endless memories.

SEE ALSO: An Open Letter to the Best Friend I've Ever Had

More than anything, I want you to know that I love you. I love you. You are the family I get to choose, the one I go to when I have nowhere else to turn. You are the one I know I can always run to, whether we saw each other yesterday or haven’t seen each other in a year. You have played a part in molding who I am as a person, and I am so grateful for having such an amazing person affecting my life in such a positive way.

With all the love in my heart,

Your friend
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To The Friends I Can Be Myself Around

An open letter to those whose friendships I value more than a pint of Graeter's ice cream.


There are those friends I love and care about deeply, but cannot be my true self around. Someone asked me before, "How can you call someone your friend if you can't be yourself around them?" I don't change myself to accommodate them or act in a manner unnatural to me — I just don't show them some sides of me. Growing up, some of my friends did not understand how I could ever want to write books or how I could love reading so much, so I learned at a young age to keep that side of me to myself. And yes, those are important parts of me, but my friends who did not understand it did accept it, and that was enough. Some thought it bizarre and humorous I love Celtic instrumental music or said some hurtful things about what I love that I realize now wasn't okay. But at the end of the day, there is love between us and common ground where I just remember to not mention some things.

Then there are those friends I can be my complete, unapologetic, authentic self with. The ones who support and encourage you to chase your dreams, even if they don't understand them. The ones who you can cry to about something silly, say whatever is on your mind without regretting it, and who thinks it's preposterous you refuse to fart in their presence because your other friends would give you crap for it (pun intended, and also true story). The ones you stay up late into the night talking about philosophy and crushes until your voices begin to rasp. The ones who are the closest to your heart.

I want to say thank you to these brilliant, caring, beautiful friends, new and old. Your love and support has helped me at all times, through the good and the bad and the boring. I only hope to be the same friend to you, to be open-minded, supportive, and enthusiastic. I believe it is important to cultivate a wide range of friends and support, but many of the friendships I mention earlier will most likely only be kept alive through memories; ours will last many lives to come. I look forward to growing old with you all and growing together.

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