How To Spot A Bad Friend

How To Spot A Bad Friend

Keep an eye out for those bringing you down.
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Sometimes a friendship may feel like it has more downs than ups. It may feel very one sided and seem like you're really doing all the work that goes into keeping a friendship.

Keep an eye out for these things:

They only give non-apology apologies.

If you're hurt by something, they'll say things like "I'm sorry you feel that way", "I'm sorry you found out", where it should be "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings", "I'm sorry I said that".

They're never there when you need them.

You're there to answer the phone at any hour when they get upset about a boy that doesn't like them back, but when you reach out to them about a crisis you're having, they never seem to be around.

They don't make time for you.

A friendship is a two-way street. Even if it's having a fifteen minute coffee break together once a month, that one-on-one time is really crucial for a stable friendship. They say they "can't" fit you into their busy schedule. It's about making time, not having time.

You have to compete for their attention.

Group gatherings are hard, especially when it's the first time you've seen them in a while. You can't seem to get them to stick around for a short conversation; their attention always seems to drift away from you. If you are spending time together, they're much more focused on what's happening on their phone than what the two of you are doing.

They make your feelings seem invalid.

Everyone is entitled to have their own feelings. They'll put you down for being upset about something that "isn't a big deal" to them. Back to the non-apologies, they're more sorry that you took their words to heart than they are about saying them.

They judge you.

Whether it's what you're wearing, the person you're dating, or the activity you're involved in, they always seem to come up with something that just puts you down about it.


Friendships can be hard. If you find yourself in a bad friendship, stand up for yourself! Tell it like it is! You deserve so much better.

Cover Image Credit: successyeti.com

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There are those friends I love and care about deeply, but cannot be my true self around. Someone asked me before, "How can you call someone your friend if you can't be yourself around them?" I don't change myself to accommodate them or act in a manner unnatural to me — I just don't show them some sides of me. Growing up, some of my friends did not understand how I could ever want to write books or how I could love reading so much, so I learned at a young age to keep that side of me to myself. And yes, those are important parts of me, but my friends who did not understand it did accept it, and that was enough. Some thought it bizarre and humorous I love Celtic instrumental music or said some hurtful things about what I love that I realize now wasn't okay. But at the end of the day, there is love between us and common ground where I just remember to not mention some things.

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