A friend recently told me about a time when he and his wife were sitting on a bench in the park, sharing a s'mores Frappuccino, and having a good conversation about their day. Eventually, he and wife noticed that when they looked around, they were surrounded by people constantly looking at their phones. Even if the people were "spending time together", they were just looking down without any interaction.

It turns out that a majority of the people were playing Pokemon GO, but that's beside the point. In fact, the point isn't even about our extensive use of technology. The point is, our conversations are becoming fewer. Because of this fact, our conversations can also become shallower. Very rarely does the average person venture into the deep end of a conversation.

DISCLAIMER! I'm not accusing millennials (or all humans, in fact) of being shallow. I truly believe that we have a great momentum of addressing relevant and important matters in our conversations. Often times, however, we simply discuss our feelings and societal issues. Feelings should never be discredited and societal issues need to be addressed, but our feelings are also fickle and we can instantly forget an event that seemed so important just weeks ago. Beliefs and eternity are topics that rarely come up in our conversations.

Why it matters

Let's talk about beliefs vs. feelings first. There are two categories that we are considering: subjective and objective. The subjective category is all about a person's assessment of an object - there's no right or wrong answer. Your favorite flavor or ice cream is subjective. Your feelings are subjective. The objective category is all about characteristics that are inherent to an object - there is a right and wrong, a truth to it. There is a definite answer to the question "Was Franklin Delano Roosevelt the 32nd president of the United States? (The answer is yes, by the way). There is a right and wrong answer, even if you know the answer or not. Your beliefs focus on objective things. This article has a more in-depth explanation of the difference between subjective and objective.

Talking about beliefs matters because it causes us to find truth. For example, does heaven exist? There is a definite and correct answer to this question, but it is just unknown. You can believe heaven exists or it doesn't exist, but your belief won't change the correct answer to this question. However, having a conversation focusing on this subject matter can allow us to move it from unknown to known.

Now let's talk about eternity. Knowing future events affects how we behave in the present. As a student, knowing that an exam will happen in the future affects how or if you study in the present time. In the same sense, a person's beliefs in eternity will affect/explain how they behave in this present life.

Having a conversation about your beliefs in eternity can allow the subject matter of eternity from unknown to known. As a result, knowing the answer to questions about eternity could potentially change how you behave in this present life.

I like to call conversations pertaining to beliefs and eternity spiritual conversations. This is not to be mistaken as religious. Religion is an institution. Spirituality focuses on an individual and their identity. Additionally, spiritual conversations only have one agenda, to seek understanding - understanding of the person your conversing with and understanding of unknown answers.

Spiritual conversations are the conversations that we should be having.

Where to start

Most of us are uncertain or uncomfortable with starting these conversations. Especially if it's with a close friend or family member because we're afraid our beliefs will change how these people view/feel about us. We fear that our relationships will change for the worse once these topics come up.

They key to starting these conversations is to simply ask questions. Questions like: What do you believe the nature of God is? What is the meaning and purpose of life? What's your belief on human nature? Where do you get your source of spiritual truth?

There's also plenty of other resources to help you out.

The main thing to keep in mind is just going into the conversation with a learning/curious attitude. Just show the person that you're genuinely interested in understanding them. Attempt to find answers together.

"If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning." --C.S. Lewis