I Spent Valentine's Day Alone and Loved It

I Spent Valentine's Day Alone and Loved It

Being comfortable with being on your own is the move this 2019. That doesn't always mean being single, but for me it did and I felt more content than I have on any other Valentine's Day.

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With the release of Ariana Grande's "thank u, next" studio album, compact with anthem upon anthem about being independent, I felt like being single on Valentine's Day was not such a bad idea especially this year.

Our generation is interesting because I feel like now more than ever, we realize the power of independence. Not that being or falling in love is a bad thing that should be shamed, because it's not, but neither is being single. For at least the past three years, I have been dating someone during Hallmark's February holiday and I just wanted to know: what would it be like to spend Valentine's Day single?

I suppose one could see it as simply just another day, but I saw it as an opportunity to take myself out, show myself a good time. This year has been one of personal growth and reflection for me and honestly, it's nice to be alone for a change. It's refreshing and new - I have been feeling emotionally spent for some time now. Being single in a new state, in a new city, has changed that.

In the morning, my friends and I sent each other those online Valentine's Day cards people meme on Twitter and post. I bought myself a necklace from work that I had been wanting (it has a small heart-shaped pendant, convenient for the holiday) and along with a small rose quartz in the shape of a heart. I also bought myself a pizookie from BJ's Brewhouse and went home. I put on some sweats, something I haven't been able to do on Valentine's Day in a long time, and watched my favorite movies while eating my dessert in a face mask. Sounds pretty average, maybe lonely right? I have to disagree.

It's all about perspective in my opinion. For me, spending quality time with myself and growing who I am before settling down is important. I'd rather spend a few Valentine's Days alone than many with someone who I'd either forget about in five or so years, someone that wasn't the person I fell in love while mentally and emotionally healthy and ready. Again, that's just how I feel personally. I know I am not ready for commitment. If you think I am not the number one fan of my friends that are in healthy relationships though, you'd be sorely mistaken.

All in all, I just want to say take a day for yourself sometime this year. Go for a hike, go to a restaurant or cafe you haven't been to, learn how to cook. There's so much to learn about yourself and so much spiritual and mental healing that can be done in just a few hours in your life where you don't feel like you have to be present anywhere but you're own mind. You might discover how great it is to be alone, even if it's just for a day. And the best thing about it? You don't have to be single to do it.

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Why I Spend So Much Time With My Boyfriend

And I love it!
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Many people think that spending too much time with your significant other is a bad thing. I think that wanting to spend time with them is a blessing. Don't get me wrong, we do not spend every waking minute together. We make sure that we save time for our friends and family, but in the end, we cherish our time together.

He brings out the best in me. When I first met my boyfriend, I knew he was something special. I didn't know what it was, but I knew that it would be important someday. I found out that when I am with him, I am an all-around happier person. I look at things in different ways, and I now know a whole new world of people. He has helped me overcome obstacles that have been holding me back for quite some time.

We enjoy each others company. I can't even begin to tell you how many times we have just sat in silence simply knowing that you are in the company of someone who loves you is comforting. He makes things that would usually be boring a lot more fun. When we do homework together, he makes the work seem like it's not work, and things like a simple trip to Walmart ends up being a comedy show.

We are best friends. Many people say that they are best friends with their significant other. For us, it's true. I can tell him anything. There is no hiding things in our relationship; we come right out and say what we want to say.

He pushes me to succeed. Whether it is with weight loss or homework, he holds me accountable. When I start a new workout, he keeps me on track to be whom I want to be. We make sure that we put homework before going out and that helps us in the long run. Giving up that pizza can be easy when you are spending time with someone you love.

He makes life seem not so hard. College can be hard and make life difficult. It seems that I always have something new happening or another meeting to attend. When I get stressed or overwhelmed, he makes sure that I take the time to put into perspective what really matters and focus on that. And when that fails, we go get McDonald's.

He supports me. He has never once told me that one of my ideas was stupid or out of reach. Whenever something new comes up that I think would be exciting, he is the first one to rally behind me and let me know that it is a good idea (even if it's not).

I love him. Love is a strong word, but I can honestly say I have never felt like this before. Between everything that he does for me, I do just as much for him simply because I love seeing him happy. Spending so much time together isn't hard to do because we love each other. If somewhere down the road we decide to split ways, I will still love him and he will still love me. That will never go away.

Cover Image Credit: Hanna Hartman

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Is Social Media Killing Romance?

In a modern era filled with technology, are the communication outlets we rely on destroying our ability to connect?

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I have always been a girl that has been stereotypically obsessed with romance novels and movies. Honestly, I enjoy the concept of romance in and of itself. I have always dreamed of a passionate, deep romance of my own complete with a meet-cute, dates, and affection. However, it seems as though the concept of romance has skewed dramatically as social media continues to flourish.

So many romance movies are shifting to acknowledge how time-consuming social media is in teenagers lives. Even so, social media seems to be such a minuscule part of the relationships while, in reality, social media outlets tend to be a major form of communication in our society.

It seems as though our entire lives are digital and relationships are no exceptions. Meeting people the "old fashioned way" is almost obsolete now thanks to dating apps and other mediums of communication. We seem to be taking away the basis of relationships; intimacy and connection.

Additionally, social media has been detrimental, especially pertaining to self-esteem and self-image. Social media allow self-scrutinization to become the norm. Comparison is almost a reflex while scrolling through social media so why would romance and relationships be any different? Social media can create ridiculous expectations for relationships. Apps like Instagram are a media for sharing the best of your life, so everyone seems to have a perfect life on there. These expectations and comparisons seem to be a deteriorating factor for relationships.

Another phenomenon that I have noticed, thanks to social media, is that meeting people is easier than ever. This is not a bad thing per se. However, since it is so easy, it seems that all the effort is gone. Flirting with someone who "slid into your DMs" is exponentially easier than flirting with someone in real life. Apps like Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram are simple methods to communicate and therefore, our communication has become simple.

Hookup culture is another thing that has become increasingly popular with the rise of social media. According to statistics, correlation does not imply causation but, at least to me, it seems that there are entirely too many aspects in common for them to not be related. Since communication is exponentially easier, so have "booty calls." Late night texts. or "snaps" have diminished the chase and allowed for actual relationships to be foreign to our generation.

In conclusion, social media has provided us with an unbelievable amount of benefits. However, it also may be draining our generation of connection and emotion. It seems as though social media has driven us into an age of simplicity and complacency.

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