Dear Salad,

I'm sorry but you're just not what I'm looking for.

You're great, so I don't want you to take this the wrong way. You're just so much better when you have your friends around. You know, some almonds, maybe some fruit or vegetables, some chicken, some dressing, or any other types of things that you pair amazingly well with (pears sound good and go really well with you, actually). They definitely change you a bit, you know, make you more lively and make you come out of your shell. Those are the times that I think I love you - hell, I know I love you - when you're paired with your friends. Unfortunately, you're not always like that.

You just don't fulfill me. You leave me feeling like I want more, and what I want more of, I know isn't always good for me. But those things that I want more of always make me feel better in the moment. You are so crisp and light but you don't have too much substance and it's hard to feel fulfilled after having you.

You're the fad that everyone wants to be with, and some people stick with you. That's great for them, I honestly envy them because they can stick with you and love you for who you are. I, unfortunately, love your enemy. The enemy who is cakes and cookies and baked goods, as well as all types of carbs. And while some may say that I'm unhealthy for liking these things, I think they're good for a person in small measures.

Look, I tried to make it work. I tried to make you a constant part of my life. There are some days where I really think we're going to get along, or that we're going to get along for a long period of time. I'd still love for you to be a part of my life on a semi-regular basis. I hope we'll share laughs and a meal and we'll get along for the rest of our lives.

So, I'm sorry, salad, but I just want to be friends.

I just want to hang out occasionally, and not cling to you or make you a part of my life that I can't live without. I don't want to depend on you to feel good about myself and I don't think it's healthy to obsess over you. I think we'll be able to live simultaneously and get along really well for the rest of our lives. I hope you feel the same way.

Sincerely,

Me