I've finally realized it wasn't me. It was you. It was you who lead to the demise of our relationship. It was you who caused the resentment and hurt I feel on a daily basis. As hard as i try to forgive you and move on I find it extremely difficult, because what you've done not only affects me, but those around me as well.

I've spent the last five years sitting down and wondering what I could have done differently, and what would have made you not be absent. Now today while looking over old photos and social media posts, I've come to the conclusion there is nothing left for me to figure out. I couldn't have changed the path you were taking. My love wasn't enough to stop you from making your decisions in the first place, it definitely wasn't enough to stop your nasty habits once they were started.

My attempts to motivate you to better yourself fell on deaf ears. Some days I felt like I was screaming at a brick wall. All I was trying to do was help you. It seemed like the more I tried to push you in the right direction the more you wandered the other way.

You would have never been happy with where life was taking me. It was pulling us in two different directions. I wanted to be better and progress; you wanted to stand still in time. Call it an act of fate or whatever you believe in, but there was a purpose. The purpose was for me to grow.

I learned some valuable lessons from all that you and I went through.

1. Love Myself.

Love myself because no matter what anyone else says, their feeling could change at any moment. Love myself because in the end, I'm all I truly have. Love myself because I have a little girl looking up to me and I have to teach her how to love herself.

2. I Couldn't Change You.

I couldn't make you into something you aren't. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't change the way you were raised and the influence you were constantly under. I couldn't change the person you became.

3. I'm Better Off Without You.

I'm better off because you never appreciated what I was doing. You saw it as nagging and I saw it as saving you. I wanted you to follow a good path and be a good man, but you were too busy being irresponsible. Ultimately, I don't need that in my life. All I need are positive people and influences.

4. I Will Be Okay.

Even through the bad you taught me this. You taught me how I could be strong- even when I thought my world was falling apart. You taught me that although I would break down, I knew how to pull myself back together. You taught me that no matter what life throws at me, I'll be able to deal with it and progress.

5. Sometimes People Are Not What They Seem.

This maybe one of the most important lessons I learned. People can be deceiving. Whether they do it intentionally from the beginning or if they start the behaviors later on. People can really mess with the way you think not only about yourself, but the world in general. As much as I'd like to say that people are always full of good intentions, it just simply isn't true. Sometimes the ulterior motives a person may have will outweigh any good they can do. Even if you feel like you know someone, there may be a piece of them you never saw coming.

These are the lessons I learned at such a young age. Luckily for me when you left me broken and wondering I had a wonderful family to pick me back up. I was surrounded by amazing friends as well. Without them I would probably still be wondering what I could have done differently. Now, I know for a fact, it was you, not me.