I was that girl who always claimed to be “G.D.I," otherwise known as "God D*mn Independent." I was that girl that for the first year of my college experience ragged on Greek life and said it was all about buying friendships. I was so wrong. Greek life is actually great. You meet a lot of people; you party (more often than not) in safe environments – like a rented-out club or whatever; and you get to help the community AND support a philanthropy. What’s not to love?
Most girls go through formal recruitment. But sometimes, like in my case, I was too insecure to go through formal recruitment so I opted for a lesser option, informal recruitment – with a colony chapter. Being the idealist that I am, I was thinking that, hey, this is the perfect opportunity to start a new brand on campus and to make a difference in the community. Ha. Right. The only brand developed by this sorority was bitchiness. And quite frankly, the only thing worse than a slutty sorority is a bitchy one.
Power struggles and hierarchies consumed the colony. They were like ravenous creatures, passive aggressively mauling one another for a place on the executive board. Blood-thirsty parasites clinging to the colony advisors and coordinators – living on the approval of their administrators (I mean, kind of like how Voldemort survived on unicorn blood). Pathetic and gross.
What’s even worse is that the colony staff enjoyed it. It was their puppet show and they were pulling the strings. They enjoyed being bossy and having control.
I was thinking, did I just join a cult? I know that’s so cliché. Maybe not a cult, but it was definitely a charming mixture of "Mean Girls" and Umbridge taking over Hogwarts. Judgmental, prejudiced, sadistic and corrupt.
Not everyone was that bad. A lot of girls were wicked cool, I’ll have to admit. But most of them were low key savage. They said they valued sisterhood, but would isolate a sister faster than you could say the sorority’s name.
It was quite astonishing how quickly this sorority went downhill. It was like one day everyone wanted you to be there and the next day everyone hated you. Joining the wrong sorority made me realize that hazing and bullying can be present even in a colony chapter. They just learn to be sneaky about it. I never expected to feel embarrassed or isolated by my sisters but they made sure I was.
The executive council eventually learned how to control the chapter. They mastered manipulation and managed to unfairly strip me of my letters. You’re probably thinking that I did something horrible to be recommended for expulsion.
Well, if suffering from depression, fighting an auto-immune disease and being financially independent serves as a basis for expulsion, then there is something seriously messed up with the sorority. They took my letters because I had health issues and I worked a lot of hours. They told me I was entitled because I missed a lot of meetings, but in reality, I was either at the doctors or working for a living. I was just being that strong independent woman they preach about recruiting.
They kicked me out even though I always paid my dues and any fines that came with missing events. They kicked me out even though I raised hundreds of dollars for our philanthropy and other Greek Life philanthropies/events. They kicked me out even though I was a supportive Big, with TWO littles. They kicked me out even though I upheld the values of the sorority. But, in the end, their biases and prejudices overruled my effort. This was the wrong sorority for me.
They would condemn others for things which they would themselves indulge in behind the scenes. This sorority was run by exclusivity. They didn't have leadership, they had cliques and hypocrisy. They had the “do as I say, not as I do” mentality. Now that I think about it, the VP did actually say those exact words during chapter one evening. I don’t usually play the victim, but damn – these girls really did suck. I wish I would have gone through formal recruitment and found the right sorority because I would have been able to experience Greek Life and sisterhood as it should be – with a sisterhood that has integrity. A sisterhood that supports you; all of you, health issues, financial issues, etc. Most importantly, I wish I found a sisterhood that upheld their mission statement because this one certainly did not.
Now, I am two months away from graduation and my membership has been taken away from me. The worst part of all of this is that I paid a grand – yes, ONE THOUSAND dollars – in dues for THIS semester and then immediately after, they sanctioned me for expulsion (I was a member for almost four semesters...you do the math).
Yeah. Blood thirsty ticks and tricks. Take my money and then kick me out. They didn’t care about their mission statement as an organization nor did they support me as a sister. At my "hearing," they did not read my letter of appeal, they only read what they formulated would create the biggest biases in the majority of my sisters. A few girls tried to take a stand during the hearing to say that what was happening was unjust, but the advisor of the chapter dismissed them and did not let them speak on my behalf. I had no way of defending myself. The executive council did not like me and they made sure no one else did too.
I felt like this was high school, maybe even middle school all over again. I couldn't believe this was happening. Again? Why? I've been bullied my entire life. If any entitlement ever emanated from me, it was a front. A defense mechanism to avoid all of the pain from over the years. I've suffered a lot from the cruelties of people but I did not expect to be bullied and secluded in college. I will never understand what people get out of seeing others suffer. I told myself I would never become a cynic, but I'm exhausted and I'm beginning to think that maybe some people will always be cruel.
However, even if others are miserable, it doesn't mean you have to be too.
Bottom line is that you should never let anyone make you feel like you don't belong or that you are not good enough. Most importantly, make sure you join the right sorority if you ever do decide to go Greek. This was definitely the wrong sorority for me. And, honestly, it's probably the wrong one for many of you too.
