Your outfit is picked, your hair is done, your nerves have definitely set in, but you’re ready to fall in love. You arrive at a beautiful mansion where one by one a beautiful human greets you and the group of girls you arrived with, and before you even know it, the elimination process has begun.
Now whether you’re watching this go down on "The Bachelor" or you’re living through it come recruitment time, you quickly realize they are one in the same. Thus after some internal evaluation, I have determined that sorority girls have all the training necessary to win any bachelor’s heart.
First of all, we know the importance of a first impression. You won't see us coming out of the limo night one in a wedding dress. That would be like showing up to a house Welcome Day already in a sorority’s letters. Instead you will see us glide out the open car door in an elegant, floor-length (probably designer) dress that took us weeks to plan and a lifetime to pay off, with hair so effortlessly flawless that it would make even Beyoncé wish she’d woken up like this.
But I’m not shallow enough to think that just a pretty face giving a respectable entrance will be enough to win over Bachelor Ben, Bob, Brody or whoever's heart; our personality is what will then carry us through.
This is certainly not lost on sorority girls. Though outsiders may see us as airhead heiresses, any true Panhellenic princess knows we didn’t get a bid being a dud and we didn’t stay off academic probation without a brain.
Our wonderful Bachelor would feel absolutely at ease knowing a conversation with us meant no awkward silences, a skill practiced, performed and perfected during four years of both formal and informal recruitment.
You know what else has been practiced over our four years in the sorority? Any group date challenges. Homecoming and Greek weeks have just been training sessions for this very moment of flag football or amazing race style challenge ending in the group date rose and for sure some one-on-one time with the hunky heartthrob.
And let's not forget we have the whole living with a bunch of girls thing mastered. I can almost guarantee the bachelor mansion has fewer girls and more bathrooms than our houses ever did. And as we all know, some girls were not made to live with other girls, while we basically minored in it.
Sure, it might be stressful swapping out weekly chapters for rose ceremonies, but we have enough competitiveness from Airbands running through our systems and engraved in our brains to take us to the very end. We did not earn a place on the show to settle for Bachelor Pad, just like we didn’t earn a bid just to drop in a couple weeks.
So accept that rose like you accepted that bid -- with pure confidence. Cause honey, we got this in our matte black Kate Spade bag.
