Being Told To Lower Your Standards

Someone Told Me To Lower My Standards And It Changed The Way I See Myself

For better, but also for the worst.

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I've always valued how well I know myself.

I feel like that is directly related to me never being in a serious relationship. There are times when that can be frustrating, but in a way, it's helped me see my self-worth. I'm never forced to see myself through the eyes of someone else. I don't have to worry about pleasing anyone but myself. It's made me more independent than I think I could ever be otherwise, and that's helped me get where I want to be.

There's still a chance that I could meet all my goals if I wasn't on my own, but I haven't gone as far as to figure that out. I'm at a point now where I want everything I involve myself in to have a permanent, or at least lasting, impact on my life. Because I'm not in a place I want to be forever, or even five years from now, I don't want any attachments.

I can't find a partner in a place I have no connections to.

My college town is great for what I need it for, but I'm only in it so I can get what I need to get out. I could waste time experimenting and having "fun," but I don't want to. I'd rather be in a place mentally and physically where I'm ready. Anything else would just be a variable that could play a role in me figuring out my future. I can't risk anything, or anyone, holding me back.

I get a lot of different reactions when people get to know that about me. Some people find that annoying, and others have been jealous of my mindset. It's all about perspective, and I have to see it in hindsight even though I'm in the present. My friends know I have this crazy standard for permanence. They know I'm passionate about other things that affect me more now.

I had never felt pressured to speed up the process or do things I'm morally against. But then I was told to lower my standards of a forever and a future.

It was like I'd never had a shot at that anyway, so I could just give up. It was a way of telling me I'm not good enough. I never doubted that before. I know my needs, and even when there are times when I want love from another person, I know it's just because I'm not giving enough of it to myself.

It made me feel terrible that someone would tell me to lower my standards or try to convince me I don't know what I need. When the truth is, I have everything I need. I'd never expected anyone to adopt this mindset I have. No one really had to understand it either. I had just hoped people would respect my values. I put them in place for a reason.

The reason being, I'm too good for anything temporary.

I don't want to give up parts of myself if there's not a chance at it being forever. As good as a relationship sounds, I know it couldn't last. I would feel like I was wasting my time or that it would hold me back. I know myself better than I could ever know anything. And I know that standards are meant to be high, or else they wouldn't be standards at all.

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs. In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm..

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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Being Ugly

What it means to me

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Due to a series of ongoing events throughout my semester, I've reconsidered what it means for someone to truly be ugly. Though it is often used in terms of appearance, I do not see it as such-- now more than ever. Ugliness runs deeper than appearance-- it runs within one's soul and festers into other areas of one's life, particularly in their treatment of others.

I view ugliness as someone's conscious capacity and implementation of malice. Taking time and energy out of your day to hurt someone else, that's what I view as ugly. Some offenses are more minor than others, however, it is still a conscious effort to hurt or affect someone else negatively-- and that's the source of the problem. I truly wonder what causes that sort of behavior in someone, as I, along with most people, simply do not invest time or energy into hating or plotting against others. It seems like a full-time job.

I can theorize all sorts of reasons as to why someone would act this way: hate, jealousy, vengeance, etc. Yet, all of these reasons don't hit the root reason. It almost seems that some people are just innately ugly in their soul. This alludes to the timeless debate of whether one's personality is due to nature or nurture. Again, although our surroundings and environment do have a large effect in our behavior, that alibi only goes so far when multiple people are placed in the same environment, in the same situation, and only some are willing to cross moral boundaries in order to hurt the others. Just because an environment applies pressure to people, does not mean everyone is going to act out in malice, and it certainly does not give everyone an excuse to do so. Some people are simply conniving and, well, ugly inside.

If you have ever encountered people like this, I know from personal experience that it is such a drag. You have an enemy, essentially, whether you chose to or not, however based on their hatred towards you, they are now considered an enemy, a hater, and any other associated term. Know that they will do anything in their power to bring you down, even if it requires bending the truth and creating elaborate schemes, but you have to keep on doing you. Let them obsess over ways to bring you down. At the end of the day, their time and energy is being invested into bringing you down, while yours is being used to build yourself up. They will fall by default. So, keep your head high, act in grace, and make your money. They can sip on their Haterade and watch from below.

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