When I am going to sleep on my own accord and getting all snuggly wuggly, I most definitely enter the comforting cove of my bed with my socks on. Ideally, I'd begin to read a few pages out of a book or perhaps peruse the interwebs (mind you, my feet are still within my socks while this is occurring). The moment I start feeling my mind drifting, I know it's time to hit the lights. But do my socks come off now? Nope, not yet...
Once the lights go off, I get back in between the covers and contort my body in all sorts of ways until I find the sleeping position that is just right. Then I find the perfect position for my feet and wait for them to warm up for the perfect temperature. Once I've hit that mark, it's time to take the socks off. But I don't do this in just any old way. If I were to use my hands, I'd have to reach all the way over to my bottom appendages and lose the sleeping position that I had worked so hard to find. Instead, I use the left foot to take the right sock off and vice versa. When this has finally been accomplished, I'm officially comfortable and on my way to a wonderful slumber.
The reason for this deeply personal aside of my sleeping ritual is to justify that I indeed go to sleep with my socks off. From empirical evidence, it has been found that people that go to sleep with their socks off on average have higher income, longer life expectancies and increased overall happiness. People who remove their foot bearings at the end of the night tend to find jobs such as CEO, lawyer or president. Finally, people that tend to sleep with free feet have a more open outlook on life. The rationale behind this is that people who sleep without socks euphemistically release their lower extremities from suffocation and entrapment, thus making them more sympathetic and understanding of the worldly issues around them.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for people that go to sleep with their socks on. Many people that sleep with their socks on tend to be less comfortable with the life they lead (mainly due to lack of quality sleep). While there is some celebrity backing of this bizarre habit (Nic Cage, Lindsey Lohan, etc.), most noteworthy people sleep with their socks off. Studies have also shown that people that switch from sleeping with socks on to socks off, see significant changes in their personality. These are usually manifested by increased overall happiness, more optimistic demeanors, and higher overall energy.
Sadly, most people that sleep with their socks on will vehemently and passionately fight for their side of the argument. While I'd like to be able to listen to the other side of the discourse, I often times find myself to be comfortably asleep with my socks off at peak issue-debate times. At the end of the day, both parties end up going to sleep the way they like. It is an issue like this in which we must learn to accept the differences of others, even though they may be completely and utterly wrong.
Perhaps we may have gotten off on the wrong "foot" in this issue to begin with. It is my vision, that over time, we can finally put a "sock" in this argument and unite as people who enjoy sleeping, regardless of their pedal preference. So here on out, let's put our best "foot" forward and look towards a more united society. In foot and in sock we trust!
