Dear Awkward girls:
I know you've been different all of your life. I know you feel like nobody ever really understands you or how your mind works. I know because I am one of you.
I'm not sure whether it makes the rest of you as upset as it makes me when people who aren't awkward co-opt that word and use it for themselves (I'm looking at you, Selena Gomez). In today's world, people use awkward as a synonym for edgy, and while yes, you can be both, they are not interchangeable.
When I say awkward, I mean awkward.
The girls who don't have friends, or even if they do they still don't feel like anyone truly knows them. I mean the girls who never know what to say in a discussion and not because they don't have the answer but because they aren't the loudest. The girls who never know what to do with their hands and feel genuinely uncomfortable in their own bodies. The girls who, deep down, are kind and friendly but don't come off that way because they're shy. The girl who values her alone time but people take it the wrong way.
I know what the world has told these girls.
You have been devalued by society for not fitting into the mold. Because you may not be the most bubbly, gregarious, outgoing, friendly, open-book traditional beauty, you've been made to feel less than. Just because you might not go out as much as everyone else, you're described as "boring." Just because you don't tell everyone your life's story and cry when you first meet them, you're sometimes described as "aloof" or "detached." Just because you focus more on your career or school, instead of your social life, people may describe you as "selfish."
You may not possess the qualities that have been labeled as traditionally feminine so people might call you a "bitch."
Heck, you might even describe yourself in these ways, I know I do. But even you know that deep down that isn't who you are. You have a heart. But also don't let them characterize these things as being flaws. These are your strengths. These are the things that set you apart.
Caring about school or your career doesn't make you selfish, it means you work hard and have the courage to invest in yourself and learn as much as you can and be the best you can be.
Not being the loudest in the room doesn't mean you don't have anything to say, it generally just means when you do say something that it's really important and well thought out. It also means your a better listener and more prepared to give good advice. Just because you're not eager to pass a piece of yourself off to every person you meet and be emotionally open as possible doesn't necessarily mean you're aloof. It just means when you open up to someone it's real and honest, not just common and meaningless.
Not going out definitely doesn't make you boring, it just means when you do, people have missed you and are happy to see you again. It makes your presence in a social scene all the more special and coveted. Maybe you don't fit what is traditionally described as feminine. So what? Everyone can define their own feminity for themselves. There's not one right way to do feminity, that's not bitchy, that's beautiful.
To all my awkward girls out there, there's so much value in your perspective and the way you live your life.
The vast majority of people will never see it and that's fine. They don't deserve the beauty that is a quiet, introspective yet opinionated soul like you. Don't worry, you'll know when a person comes into your life that is willing to stick around and peel back the layers to see the beauty in depths that genuine.
I often describe myself as the friend in a rom-com/teen movie. You know there's always the conventionally attractive, bubbly, flirtatious main character that always gets the attention and then she has a friend who's usually quieter, smarter and less attractive. I'm the friend.
And while there are so many dangerous things about that trope, I also know that the friend always triumphs in the end. And we will too!
Sincerely,
An Awkward Girl Just Like You
