I came across this image of “How to Spot a Social Media Junkie” in the midst of 2015 after I finally joined Snapchat, the last major social media account I created and own.

Let’s just say, five out of seven from that list accurately applies to me, and I have self-identified as a social media junkie. I thought I could talk myself out of admitting my obsession with social media due to parts of how it is crucial to stay active for my career field in fashion journalism and a requirement for my internships.

But how can I not realize certain things I used to do purposely or go out of the way just for an “Instagram-worthy” photo or how I deleted content because it wasn’t getting the kind of reaction I wanted? Yes, I’m admitting to them all.

Back in late 2014 to early 2015 when I started blogging, I used to take a flat-lay photo of every “pretty” meal I had. Going out to brunch was not about enjoying the food anymore, it was about ordering what I saw all over Instagram and Yelp then telling my friends to “Wait! Don’t touch the food yet,” as I rearrange every plate and utensil for a good minute and then capture it with my iPhone from up top in several tries.

I would then import and edit those photos right away in a photo-editing app. It was usually after five minutes that I would finally start eating. I would go café exploring just for ordering fancy espresso drinks with barista crafted latte art because that made up an “Instagram-worthy” photo.

I probably have spilled coffee on myself from doing this. Half of the time, I’ll be glued to my phone looking through feeds on various social media platforms rather than having rich and intimate conversations with the person across the table. Also, the quality of my photo was more of a priority over whether my food or drink was tasty.

I love Snapchat because it is, simply stated, more real compared to Instagram, and you could care less about the quality. But it also separates us from reality if some of your friends are very active on the platform. You would think you get a sense of how their day-to-days are going and what they are up to, so you often forget to initiate conversations or plan actual hangouts.

Often I do text replies on Snapchat and totally forget what I was talking about with the other person because those texts disappear if I don’t click and save. I usually prefer snapping highlights of my day, like fashion-related events, behind the scenes for my work, beautiful sunsets and visuals I come across, or a few sarcastic quotes here and there about the MTA or something New Yorkers can relate to. Often I would forget to save these as well and they are nowhere in my camera roll for memories.

I often speak to a friend who doesn’t own or involve himself in any social media platform about this matter. To my surprise, he is comparatively more updated about stories, news, trends and lives of our mutual friends than I am. I often admire how one could live without at least one platform of social media and I’m aware how ridiculous I possibly sound by saying that.

But through the negatives, there’s also no doubt social media has led me to connect and work with very talented people in my fields. I like meeting and collaborating with creatives and view Instagram now more like a portfolio of my work with my aesthetics. Watching snap stories doesn’t give me an understanding of people’s lives, and I’ve learned not to develop assumptions toward whether someone is having a blast of a day or not very much so.

These are the truths and spilled thoughts behind a social media junkie.