According to Dictionary.com, independence is being “free from outside control; not depending on another's authority.” According to society, independence is a necessary measure for success. According to me, independence is a silent killer eating away at the unity of the human race.
Ever since I was old enough to comprehend words, I began to comprehend that I was a self- separate from that of those around me. A naturally subsequent concept began filling the synapses of my brain- the idea that I was not only separate but that I was so separate that I was completely and utterly alone. As a consequence of my internal and external environment, I began to embrace this concept of “aloneness” – which I argue has become synonymous with “individuality” in many cases- and I began to demand that everything I needed to do be done by me.
My nickname - which remains my contact name in my Dad’s phone - soon became “Dooder,” originating from my favorite phrase as a toddler, “Abby-Do-It!” Despite often being offered help with things toddlers aren’t generally expected to be able to do, such as walk up stairs, or read a book, or get a basketball in the hoop, I always demanded that I needed to do it alone and alone only.
Today, it seems that my toddler spirit continues to live on. Despite often being offered support in various aspects of my life, from school help to emotional help, I rarely ever fail to refuse this support. Since I was a toddler, I have convinced myself that doing it alone is the only way to do it and that any other way is the easy route- a route I rarely allow myself to walk on. I have successfully fulfilled the societal standard of independence – however, the success aspect that society promised has not exactly followed.
Well, obviously it depends on what your definition of success is. But if it’s anything like mine, you’d agree that I - along with so many of the other individualistic minds of our American society - are failing.
Our incessant independent mindsets have led us to experience incredible amounts of stress, anxiety, social isolation, depression, etc. - all of which, may I add, are unnecessary and predominantly avoidable. Although many of these latter factors are in fact unavoidable biological predispositions, environment never ceases to have an effect. In other words, it doesn’t have to be so bad.
It seems to me that the conscious choice of isolating ourselves from the world and terming it “independence” is a false synonymous relationship that must cease to exist. From personal experience, the result of taking the term independence too far and creating social isolation out of it masks any benefits of independence and only creates adverse effects.
In this way, “independence” may literally be killing us - or those of us who have interpreted it the wrong way. As I’ve read this past week in my sociology classes, social relationships and connections are one of the number one predictors of mortality among all people of all ages. That is, those with better social connections tend to live longer than those who are socially isolated or have few social connections.
With this fact in mind, it may be obvious now that the “independent American” is really the “self-deprecating American,” slowly carving his/her own path to the grave with every “Abby-Do-It”-like sentiment he/she has.
So, may I conclude, learn from my mistakes and the increasingly common mistake of so many other Americans - make time for others, love thy neighbor and realize that life does not have to be such a rat race because the only place it’s leading us is to the end.
