If you have been following my articles since the very beginning, then you would have seen countless articles on mental health. More importantly, articles regarding my own mental health. If this is your first time reading one of my articles, here is a quick rundown: I have social anxiety disorder and I realized it freshmen year of college. I also struggle with binge eating disorder. And while both have held me back in the past, I'm trying for them not to hold me back for my future.

I usually write about my own episodes of my S.A.D., how it affects me, how it makes me feel or just poems of my inner thoughts. But here, this article is a refresher from those kinds of topics. First off, this article will not be talking about the 'dark side' that I usually talk about. This article will talk about how my social anxiety disorder is a blessing in disguise for me.

Ever since I was a little kid, I had a hard time making and keeping friends because of my disorder. But this was a good thing. Because I don't like lots of social interaction with others, I'm usually in the background. Which means that I have seen other kids interacting, and I have seen and noticed those kids who are mean, rude and just plain horrible. But I have also seen those kids who are pretty sweet and nice. Even though I don't get noticed a lot, I notice a lot of people. I see who they really are: their true colors. And if someone is a bitch or an asshole, I know that I should not be friends with that person.

Also with me blending in with the walls, my mental illness has helped form some of the best friendships in my life. In elementary school, up until second grade, I had a new friend every year. In second grade, I was sitting alone during lunch when another girl came up to sit with me. I was about to drink the juice from my Mott's cup, when the girl told me that the metal plate that encircled the inner ring of the cup could cut my lip. Me and her? We've been best friends ever since.

With my social anxiety, it helps me develop long-lasting friendships with others. If I am always nervous when I go to hang out with them, whether in public or alone together in a dorm, then I can tell that I may never feel myself around them. And if I can't feel like myself around them, then it would make it harder to form a friendship with them.

My social anxiety is a blessing in a dark disguise for me because having this anxiety has helped me filter out the bad friends from the good friends. Being able to know if I could be myself around others has shown me that if others can't accept for who I am, then I should be able to realize that they are not good friends for me. And with my anxiety, I am usually quiet, so it is easy for me to see other's personalities. And if I don't think that we, as friends, can't be very compatible, then I do not try to force the friendship together.

And even though this means for me, that I'm not going to have a large group of friends that I can brag about on social media, I'll be forming long-lasting, forever friendships with people who I love and care about. I love you all.