As a meek, confused sophomore who was only just figuring her life out, rushing a fraternity was the last thing I saw myself doing. But one of my big goals for the year was to meet new people and to find a group where I felt I belonged. For those who don't know, "rushing" is a term used in greek life for a series of events to get to know the fraternity and the brothers. Going up to random strangers and initiating small talk is daunting for anyone, no matter how inviting they are.
For the first event, I remember attending with a few of my friends, and visiting brothers in a small group. However, that is not enough after the first day. I had to venture off on my own and talk to people one on one -- this was the real challenge. Trust me when I say, this has changed the way I interact with people overall.
I learned to be more relaxed, to smile as much as possible, and to ask the right questions. When you ask someone "how war your day", "what are your favorite shows", or "have you travelled anywhere", you're taking a genuine interest in their passions and opinions. The rushing process taught me, more than anything, how to make socializing more genuine and less of a "networking" tactic.
People are going to have a certain first impression of you, and I learned that there is little I can do to control other people. There's no point worrying about it. Our culture teaches us to be so conscious of how other people see us, that we act unlike ourselves to cater to others. Yet this uncomfortable energy is easy for people to pick up on, and this makes them uncomfortable. As cliche as this sounds, it makes sense to just be yourself. I learned to own myself and my personality.
Joining a fraternity also taught me about reaching out to people. These days we are all so caught up in our own devices and our own established cliques, that we forget to say "Hi" to acquaintances in passing. We forget to smile, and engage with others in subtle ways. Many relationships are built on these micro interactions. I used to be nervous talking to strangers, even while running errands or doing simple tasks. Now, I don't fear someone coming up to me to talk or ask a question, it's liberating.
I now enjoy taking interest in other people's thoughts, their concerns. I see every person I meet as having their own set of pains and concerns I guess you could say. I have more compassion now, and that is a life skill not many people have.