It’s Friday night again and the clock rolls past 10PM. You’re spending yet another night in bed with Netflix, no chill. You try to distract yourself from self deprecation by convincing yourself this is exactly how you wanted to spend your evening. You have a slight wish that you had a significant other cuddled up next to you, but you’re alright.
You check your phone a few times, wondering if anyone will reach out for a late night conversation. Finally it buzzes, but its just one of your friends saying hi. And you’re pretty sure she’s drunk.
The clock strikes midnight, and you scroll through Instagram looking at all the drunken photos your acquaintances have posted. You get the slightest sinking feeling wishing you had something to do, but again, you’re alright.
Now let me tell you what it’s really like to be the girl glowing in every one of those pictures you wish you were in. Let me tell you what it’s really like to fall asleep and wake up with a phone filled with drunk calls and “I love youu” text messages.
It’s lonely. It’s empty. It’s worse than being alone.
I remember telling myself to get drunk enough, so that I would be confident enough, to tell my friends to take this picture with me. At least my drunk self reached that goal. Why did I do that? I guess I felt like I had something to prove.
News flash: I don’t remember taking any of these pictures. And I didn't know this girl at all.
But I had a great Instagram the next day. And all of my followers were completely convinced I had the time of my life at Carolina Cup.
I can tell you what I'm telling you for certain, because I used to be that girl glowing in pictures. And now I’m the girl choosing to sit alone on Friday night and turn off my phone. Because it’s better to be terribly alone than surrounded by empty love. It’s a lie. Don’t wish for it. You are better off.
Be careful what you value, and what you let influence your value. We live in a world of perceptions. Negative perceptions. Invalid perceptions. Untrue perceptions.
Once we allow ourselves to realize these distortions, we can view our own world in a new light. A truer light.
Now, this is not to say that everyone smiling in pictures is lying about their happiness. There are many genuinely happy people in the world, and on social media. But once we take these smiling faces and use them as a basis for how happy we are, we run into huge problems.
My college self is just one example of the personas we create on social media. Anyone who is active on social media does it. There are the pieces of your life you show, and the pieces you don’t. This way of life is not wrong, it is healthy to keep certain things private, and to share other pieces. We just have to commit to being aware of these distortions. As long as these distortions are not our idea of reality, social media is an amazing gift and tool.
xoxo, Lizzie
