Every once in a while on my Facebook feed, I’ll see something about living in small towns and how it’s been great or something like that followed by someone commenting about how their small town was fantastic or great or just super. That’s nice for them, but for me, the taco burrito supreme (back at it again with the food analogies), I just remember all the bad things. I’m a pessimist so to speak. Living in a small town, while there were some perks, was not that great on some levels. This romanticizing of small town living completely glosses over some of the bad aspects of small towns.
I saw the article, 31 Signs You Grew Up In A Small Town, And I Mean Small and thought I should bring my pessimist commentary into some of their points. So here goes:
"1. When people ask where you’re from, you just say the nearest big town because they never heard of where you actually grew up."
And now that big town is where I go to college…so that gets confusing.
"4. Your teachers always knew you through your older brother/sister and would often call you their name."
And cousins…and parents…and other relatives…I swear, it seemed like every family member of every family lived in that small town!
I was the older brother/sister. And even then, people only really knew me because my sister and I looked too much alike. My brother on the other hand, people didn’t normally see it right away.
"5. You wave to people driving by, whether you know them or not."
And when walking…and when running around…I’m trying my best to not be that weird person that waves at everyone when I walk by them. Year three: nope.
"9. First day of hunting season was a school recognized holiday."
I stopped seeing people as much. They wore camo which made them invisible. Not really, but there was SO MUCH CAMO!!! And there was always at least one person that had a camo homecoming/prom dress.
"13. You give directions based on local landmarks."
But then again, I’m terrible at giving directions.
"15. Country music speaks to your soul."
NO IT DOES NOT! Country music is the bane of my existence. I’m tired of hearing country and their songs about getting drunk in barns and wanting the minister’s daughter or something like that. If anything, country music speaks to the part of my soul that I never want to hear from ever again.
"17. Your kindergarten class was the same as your high school graduating class."
Minus 20. But hey, 75 is a decent number of graduating class in a small school. Right? RIGHT?!
"20. Your high school parties were in one of three places: bonfire in a field, barn, or someone’s garage."
Which is why I didn’t go. I didn’t want to do that (or so I keep telling myself when I don’t want to deal with the fact that I was an outsider nerd type that never really socialized with more than a few people).
Actually, I should correct myself. I’ve been to a few bonfires. But you can do that in town too (and have a friend that forgets you need wood for the fire). But hey, it’s a good story that we can laugh about in the future.
"21. You really did just drive around because there wasn’t shit to do."
Yep…and found out where people liked to have sex in their cars near the corn thanks to commentary a couple of my friends liked to provide. (Which I did not ask for by the way!)
"25. You know what Brad Paisley means when he’d like to check you for 'ticks.'"
Yeah…but it’s really not that difficult to understand that meaning. A creepy guy asking to check you for ticks probably means he wants to do you and it means that everywhere, not just in the cornfields. So if someone tells you that they want to check you for ticks, RUN!
"26. You’ve had to slow down for a tractor and it didn’t give you road rage."
Well…no. Some of us just used that as an excuse for being late to school or coming home after curfew. It’s not a decent place to be in, but once you know how to take advantage of it, it’s not too bad. Although, Bring Your Tractor to School Day probably did lead to some rage.
"30. You learned to love America, respect your neighbor, and stand for your beliefs."
If by “love America” you mean have so much pride for it that you forget about all the bigotry that goes on in a lot of rural areas and all the other bad things and just scream “MURICA” wherever you went for no reason, then yeah…probably.
Respecting my neighbor is something my parents taught me how to do. It’s called manners. You don’t have to live in the country to learn how to be nice to people.
As for standing for my beliefs, while I am more likely to be passionate about what I believe, it’s more like “don’t mention that there is no God,” “don’t mention that LGBT people are people too,” “don’t mention that their pro-life stance goes against women and promotes treating them like incubators and not people”, “just don’t talk at all” when you hear people talk about their extreme Christianity, anti-LGBT biases, racism, sexism, or anything else of that nature.
"31. You might have hated it at times, but deep down, you’re damn proud of growing up there."
Eh…it’s not perfect, but I’ll admit I did learn a lot from the people that were nice and maybe weren’t like the stereotypical “country person,” but being in a small town doesn’t really have to do with that. I’m sure I would have found people anywhere I was at, but I am glad to have met the people I did. I’ll also admit that if I didn’t meet these people, I probably wouldn’t be where I’m at today…in a university that is not in a small town. (Again, pessimist.)
