I wrote an article a few weeks back right around when I started senior year, and tried my best to convey my emotions about how it felt to start my last year of my undergraduate career. Now, halfway through September, I'm even more lost than I was then. But the good thing is, I'm starting to embrace it.
It's difficult when you feel like everybody around you has their lives together except for you. I've been feeling that extra hard lately- a lot of my friends have a pretty set idea of where they're going after graduation, and I can't help but feel envious. I chose my major (Marketing) because I wanted wiggle room, freedom to change course and pursue different endeavors. While this seemed like am amazing idea when I was 18, I've found myself occasionally wishing that I had chosen something a little more clear cut.
One thing I've now realized is that no one has their life as figured out as I think they do. Even if they think they do, most people change their careers numerous times during their lifetime- apparently the average number is up to 11 for job changes! So why are kids at the age of 21/22 so pressured to 'know' exactly what they want to do and where they want to go right after college?
It's pretty ridiculous when you think about it- college is known for being a transition period in life, but we aren't necessarily given very much room for mistakes or growth. We're told that one D in a class first semester freshmen year can permanently tank our GPA. We're told that if we don't choose the right major, we'll never be employed. We're told that we need to have at least three internships by graduation to even have a shot at being taken seriously in the real world. I've lived the last three years abiding by these theories to the death, and you know what? I'm calling BS.
College students (myself included) are often lacking a little thing called perspective. We panic too quickly about things that aren't really freak-out worthy. It's because we're taught to panic- our generation is known for being unmotivated and lackadaisical, for whatever reason. So our teachers, bosses, mentors, etc. have tried to offset this inaccurate stereotype by constantly pushing us. Sometimes, they're pushing us to no avail- trying to force us to do even better than our very best. This kind of pressure can be detrimental.
I have no doubt that our elders do this with only the best intentions in mind. However, we need to get used to the idea that we're going to screw up from time to time...and we need to realize that it's not going to kill us. I've spent my whole life so caught up in the mistakes I've made that I rarely give myself time to reflect on the incredible things I've done as well. I've prided myself so much on my sense of direction throughout my entire life- so now that I'm left with a clouded horizon in my future, I've been blaming myself. I've been thinking that there must be something wrong with me. It's taken until now to realize that this is a part of growing up- a part that I'm only just realizing is acceptable to go through.
I've decided that I'm through with letting insignificant worries mess up my life. I don't know what I'm doing- and that's okay. I'm only 21- I'm probably going to be 28 and still have no idea what I'm doing. And I'm completely fine with that! I might not even know what I'm doing when I'm 65! But I'm making it my mission to enjoy my life regardless, and live up to my potential and what I expect of myself. If I'm going to have 11 different jobs throughout my life, you better believe I'm going to make each and every one of them spectacular.
In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy what's left of college. They've been the best years of my life, but I have no doubt that the best is left to come. However, the truth is that this is all temporary- a fleeting four year window in my (hopefully long!) life. I'm going to soak it all in, not sweat the small stuff, and just have fun.
