Ah, Snapchat. That cool application where you can send funny pictures to your friends with goofy filters and they disappear in 10 seconds. Sounds fun, right!? It is fun, truly. Now, this is not going to be me telling you that our generation is too dependent upon social media and our cell phones. I know we are and I am one of those young adults that cannot stop looking at their iPhone. Anyway, since I do not feel like telling you how awful we are as a generation, that is not what this is about. It is about how Snapchat is ruining all of our lives in a different way.
Snapchat is a beautiful thing. The filters, face swap, and face transforming filters are fun. But, I am very angry and outraged that I cannot eat a banana in the cafeteria without one of my funny punk friends stealthily taking a picture of me and promptly sending it to all of our closest friends. It is funny I grant you, but also invasive. A banana is such a simple and harmless fruit. I am just trying to take in some potassium and little do I know across the table is my friend stealthily zooming in on me eating a banana while she pretends she is texting her mother about her finals.
This generation, dependent on technology, is also incredibly dependent on envisioning bananas as a phallic symbol each time someone chooses to consume a banana. I am casting my vote for no more banana shaming. I do not need a funny dog filter on my face while a video of me consuming a banana is being captured.
Next, I cannot enjoy an innocent dance party in my room without my sneaky roommate capturing it in a 10-second video. No one needs to see my sad twerk attempts via Snapchat. No one needs to see them at all. I like to talk to myself as I go about my day and stare out my window. My roommate finds my antics fascinating. Although I am flattered, a 10-second video will not do my fascinating daily life any justice. No one even watches the full video. If they do, the volume is off. We all know our attention spans aren’t long enough to watch the whole video, so why bother?
Lastly, this could easily be because I am unobservant and confused 90 percent of the time, but the selfie Snapchat that’s actually a video always trips me up. Don’t you hate when someone leans in for a selfie on Snapchat and you smile for six seconds before you realize it’s a video and then you feel like a potato? This is frustrating and quite frankly it’s ruining my life. Prepare me for the video so all of your Snapchat fans can see me as the goddess I am.
Overall, Snapchat is ruining the lives of this generation. Whether you’re a Snapchat instigator or a Snapchat victim, you’re ruined. Prepare your pals for Snapchats please. Now go on and open Snapchat on your phone because I know that’s what your brain is thinking you need to do and proceed with caution. Be aware of Snapchat instigators. They are punks and they will continue to punk until the next social media fad. This has been a public service announcement about the dangers of Snapchat.
