In the struggle to find dates for things, one must not act too quickly, for it will send everyone else into a panic.

Picking a date for any given event is a challenge. A girl needs someone not too tall, otherwise she cannot put a picture of them on Instagram. She needs someone who isn’t too wild, so she can maintain her social privileges. She also needs someone who will hold her party cup while she takes pictures with 200+ people in two hours.

Finding the boy who will fit your miles long checklist is like finding Blair Waldorf’s conscious: very difficult and super unlikely. But there are some fool-proof methods that will surely do one justice.

The Setup: This is the simplest of simple. Lets say one of your friends has moved up in the world and snagged a cute fraternity boyfriend. Perfect. Just shoot her a little text that looks something like “SOS SEND HELP I’m going to be single foorrreeveeeerr.” Said friend will know exactly what you’re talking about and hook you right up. 

This is the simplest method for a few reasons, the first being that you show up being well-armed. Once you learn the boy's name, you can get to learning everything else. (Once again, thank you Facebook-stalking and your creepy ways.) This way on the bus ride over, you can get the awkward chit-chat out of the way (because you know everything about him back to 2008). "The Setup" is the Holy Grail of date options because you can hand pick your date, to avoid the previously mentioned awkwardness.

The Classic Friend: Maybe he was your best friend in high school, maybe he still is your best friend, or maybe he is a friend of a friend that you smooched once, maybe twice. Whatever the case, the friend-boy that you are already acquainted with is an easy option. You can skip over the awkward introductions and get right to the fun stuff.

Depending on the actual function, this option can be a really good choice. There’s no pressure, especially if you and your lucky date have been friends for a while.

Dates for Grub, Semi, and Formal are always tricky. Speaking solely for myself, I prefer the setup. I find it funny that I get to personally pick out a date for myself, while the poor boy is so unaware of the process (until now). Now lovelies, use my words of wisdom and charm/trick that wonderful fraternity man into leaving his frat castle, putting on a tutu or other ridiculous costume and going with you to the fabulous evening you have planned.