Smidge's Interpretations Of Dartmouth Traditions

Smidge's Interpretations Of Dartmouth Traditions

Yes, you read that right. Perspectives of a guide dog.
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Homecoming weekend is arguably one of the most fun weekends to be at Dartmouth. Not only is it great to have some alums come home, it’s also fun to take part in unique Dartmouth traditions. Though Smidge tends to usually skip homecoming celebrations because, hello, she’s a dog and that wouldn’t always be safe. But in the spirit of homecoming here are Smidge’s thoughts on a few Dartmouth Traditions

Running around the fire

It is so hot! These humans are ridiculous. At school we learned to keep my human far away from fire. But all the humans want to do is touch it. Do they even school? Why are you making job harder for Smidge?

Wearing flair

Do these humans not own any normal clothing? They wear so many different shades of gray!

Playing Pong

Ball! Ball! Ball… Ball! I’ve never had so many people want to play fetch and this floor tastes AMAZING!

First year trips

You know I could get used to this. Smidge loves woods. Master goes to the bathroom with Smidge outside finally. Human training is working well. Humans are weird with their aggressive dancing and outrageous choices of clothing. Smidge is enjoying this leave no trace behind. Master is working on new tick called “yum yum”. I try really hard to make sure I help my humans out by eating everything possible. I think I’m doing a good job with that.

Football games

There are large people running around after a strangely shaped ball. I have never encountered humans who are as enthusiastic about catching balls as I am. This is fantastic!

Princeton Vs. Dartmouth Hockey Game

This. Is. Amazing. I look like a hockey player. I could definitely get on the ice. I need to get to the tennis balls. How many do you think I can fit in my mouth? You’re right, I can definitely fit all of them in my mouth!

Ledyard Challenge

I’ve been telling these people they should ditch the clothes… Finally, they’ve decided to listen. I could definitely handle the run but the swim seems pretty far. I have been working on my doggy paddle though, I bet I could do it. Luckily for me I won’t need to leave clothes on the dock.

Lous challenge

I’m sorry, but do these people ever sleep? Sleep is great. Sleep and walks. And squirrels. why are they staying up all night? So this is human fun. This was fun for like an hour but I reallyyy don’t want to stargaze or skinny dip anymore. Do I have to come? You guys can handle things on your own if I nap right? Okay good, I’ll be on your bed, that’s cool right?

Polar bear plunge

I just don’t get it. Why do all these people want to be wet and cold?? I guess I like swimming when its hot out (though I’m still a little traumatized from falling into the lake that one time), but I get very grumpy when it snows or rains and I have to be wet and cold all day. Plus Staci makes me wear these stupid snow boots and it would be such a pain to get those off just to jump in Occum! No thank you I am fine skipping this one.

Cover Image Credit: Author's photo

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50 One-Liners College Girls Swap With Their Roomies As Much As They Swap Clothes

"What would I do without you guys???"
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1. "Can I wear your shirt out tonight?"

2. "Does my hair look greasy?"

3. "We should probably clean tomorrow..."

4. "What should I caption this??"

5. "Is it bad if I text ____ first??"

6. "Should we order pizza?"

7. *Roommate tells an entire story* "Wait, what?"

8. "How is it already 3 AM?"

9. "I need a drink."

10. "McDonalds? McDonalds."

11. "GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED."

12. "Okay like, for real, I need to study."

13. "Why is there so much hair on our floor?"

14. "I think I'm broke."

15. "What do I respond to this?"

16. "Let's have a movie night."

17. "Why are we so weird?"

18. "Do you think people will notice if I wear this 2 days in a row?"

19. "That guy is so stupid."

20. "Do I look fat in this?"

21. "Can I borrow your phone charger?

22. "Wanna go to the lib tonight?"

23. "OK, we really need to go to the gym soon."

24. "I kinda want some taco bell."

25. "Let's go out tonight."

26. "I wonder what other people on this floor think of us."

27. "Let's go to the mall."

28. "Can I use your straightener?"

29. "I need coffee."

30. "I'm bored, come back to the room."

31. "Should we go home this weekend?"

32. "We should probably do laundry soon."

33. "Can you see through these pants?"

34. "Sometimes I feel like our room is a frat house..."

35. "Guys I swear I don't like him anymore."

36."Can I borrow a pencil?"

37. "I need to get my life together...."

38. "So who's buying the Uber tonight?"

39. "Let's walk to class together."

40. "Are we really pulling an all-nighter tonight?"

41. "Who's taking out the trash?"

42. "What happened last night?"

43. "Can you help me do my hair?"

44. "What should I wear tonight?"

45. "You're not allowed to talk to him tonight."

46. "OMG, my phone is at 1 percent."

47. "Should we skip class?"

48. "What should we be for Halloween?"

49. "I love our room."

50. "What would I do without you guys???"

Cover Image Credit: Hannah Gabaldon

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I Have No Idea What I Want To Do With My Life And It Is Freaking Me Out

It has always been a dream of mine to live in a big city with a great job.

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