A very good friend and I were recently talking about the friendships we have had through our college experience, and we realized something: Having a small, close-knit group of friends is better than having a large group of friends.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s incredibly comforting to know that out of your big group of friends, you will always have someone there for you at any hour of the day. But with a small group of friends, that is just as possible. The difference is, with a small group of friends, your friends are genuinely there for you. This means that they go above and beyond anything you would ever expect out of a person.
All of this is actually difficult for me to say. As a sorority woman, fantastic and inspiring women surround me at all times. And make no mistake, I love my sisters to death. I will always be there for them, and I know they will always be there for me. However, with over 100 women in my chapter, it is impossible to be friends with all of them, and more impossible to keep in touch with each of them. This is the downfall of having a large group of friends. It’s hard to keep in touch with everyone. If you aren’t the best at keeping touch with people yourself, you might start to feel left out or alone.
So here is where that small, close-knit group of friends takes the cake. Having a close-knit group of friends means that you have fewer people to keep in touch with. Chances are, you have a group text with that close-knit group of friends, and you talk in it every day. It would be ridiculous to try to have a group message with a huge group of friends. You would never be able to read everyone’s message and still function in real life. That's just too many messages all at once!
Your big group of friends may not know that you need, either. If you’re struggling to keep in touch with friends, they might not realize that you’re going through a difficult time. This might make you feel even worse. If you’re sick, your large group of friends might text and wish you to feel better. But your small group of friends are going to be the ones who bring you soup. They’re going to be the ones who sit on the couch with you and watch movies until you feel better.
With a big group of friends, you might struggle to find deep personal connections with people. There are a lot of people to keep track of and a lot of interests to keep straight in a big group of friends. That can get tough to follow. With a small group of friends, you’re going to build that deep personal connection. You’re going to know that their mom’s favorite flower is the daffodil. And you might even send her some for her birthday. With a close-knit group of friends, you are going to feel like part of their families. They're the friends whose houses you just walk into without knocking. You don't have to send them the "I'm here!" text. You just walk in and get them yourself.
When you have that deep personal connection, you are going to have more things in common. With a big group of friends, you might struggle to find things to do because everyone has different interests. People might not agree on what they want to do because some people might not like what the other people like. With a small group of friends, you all probably share a fair amount of interests. You all will have no problem finding tickets to a sporting event because you don’t have to purchase 25 tickets. You only need 10 or 12. This gives you more opportunities to do different things with your friends.
What we also came to realize is that with a small group of friends, they aren’t going to be your only friends. You’re going to have a mixing of the close friends you have with the close friends your close friends have. This makes a huge network of people, and can build your friendships even more. If your best friend’s friends like your friends, they’re more likely to be willing to give up whatever plans they had to do things with you and your friends! All in all, close-knit friends lead to big groups of friends, but that small group will always be the best friendships you'll ever have.
