Here are 55 ways I know I'm starting to slip:
1. I stop responding to emails
2. And texts
3. And Snapchats
4. I stop returning missed phone calls
5. I stop caring about what I look like
6. By not showering consistently or washing my hair
7. And by not going to the gym
8. And by not wearing makeup
9. Or clothes that I normally would wear
10. Instead, I resort to the gray sweats and stained T-shirts
11. I stop making my bed every morning
12. I stop setting an alarm
13. I stop brushing my hair
15. I stop opening my blinds
16. I stop being present
17. I stop washing my dishes
18. I stop being the organized, planned person I am
19. I fly by the seat of my pants
20. I take longer showers
21. I go to bed earlier just so I don't have to interact with anyone
22. The smallest human interactions are enough to exhaust me
23. I isolate myself
24. By putting my headphones in every chance I can
25. And by declining invitations to do things
26. And by taking long showers
27. And by going to bed at 7:00 p.m. on a Tuesday night
28. My eyes grow gray instead of their usual vibrant green
29. Due to the exhaustion
30. And lack of things that make me happy
31. My laugh becomes dry
32. My eyes don't shine or glisten
33. They look empty and dead
34. My body begins to ache
35. To the point where I cannot get out of bed
36. Or brush my hair
37. Or touch anyone
38. My lips and hands begin to dry out
39. From lack of both food and water
40. I get good at making excuses
41. I get good at forcing a smile
42. And a laugh or two
43. I feel empty, like I've just lost something
44. I feel hollow
45. My chest is heavy and in pain 24/7
46. I get tired easier than usual
47. I don't get thrills from the things I do
48. My stomach aches 24/7
49. I overthink everything
50. I question everything everyone does
51. I stop going to church
52. And volunteering
53. And reading
54. I cry more often
55. I stop talking
Editor's note: The views expressed in this article are not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
