I'll be the first to say that I was not the most popular girl in school, I wasn't the prettiest and I never had all the guys after me but I personally know I was not ugly either, although the kids in my class would probably argue that I was.
I was always very quiet in school, even though that's nothing like I really am. If you know me, you know that I never shut up. I went to a very small, private, Catholic high school, so needless to say everyone knew everyone's story. It was also very cliquey. I never fit into any of the cliques there. I guess you could say I was a bit of an outcast. I was really into music and theater when no one else in my grade was. I mean, it wasn't like I didn't have any friends. I had a handful of a few really really good friends in my school but as I went throughout high school, that list got smaller and smaller.
Everyone goes through an awkward phase, mine just happened to be all throughout middle school and half of my high school career.
After high school is when I really started to shine. No longer was I chained to my boring everyday school uniform. I was able to express myself in what I wore, I was able to fully dress as me. Not only did dressing like myself help, but I also grew into myself.
It wasn't until my second year of college that I actually grew to know myself.
I had figured out a lot. I finally settled on what I wanted to do for a career, I figured out what I wanted to actually major in and what school I wanted to go to. Not only did I start to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, but I also figured out who I wanted to be as a person. In this year, I did a lot! I kicked a lot of toxic and useless people out of my life. I started going to the gym and learned how to truly love myself.
When I learned to love myself, it definitely caught the attention of others.
I had people noticing that I had more confidence in myself that I seemed happier and more comfortable in my own skin. I found myself posting a gym photo of myself in a sports bra and leggings. I'm not gonna lie I was kinda showing off my flat stomach that I have been working on. Why shouldn't I? I worked hard and I am proud! It was almost instantly after I posted that photo that my phone had started blowing up.
I had guys messaging me constantly since.
A good portion of them were guys I went to high school with, guys who wouldn't even give me the time of day. I won't lie, I had a crush on a few them but I knew I'd never had a chance. So, imagine my shock when I see a few of them sliding in and sitting in my “DM's." Silly me, for a second I thought, “Wow, they thought of me and wanted to talk to me." I was so excited. That was until I was curious enough to ask why they were finally messaging me and talking to me.
The answer I got infuriated me.
The reason why is that NOW I am “hot." Let's just sit and think about this for a second… You wouldn't give me the time of day in high school. In fact, you were one of the ones who later on in our high school career teased me for the longest time, and NOW all of the sudden I'm “hot" enough for you to talk to? Sorry, but that's not how it works!
Little, young, naive me would be thrilled that you were in my DM's, but lucky for me I grew up. I learned my self-worth and I have respect for myself to know that you aren't worth a thing to me. You can message me all you want telling me that I'm “beautiful" and “hot" and you can ask for “pics" until your last breath but you won't be getting anything out of me.
