Ahh…the DMs. A fantasy world, similar to the friend zone, except you’re just getting blocked online instead of in real life. Yo Gotti caused this phrase to explode, giving men and boys everywhere the illusion that this was the best way to approach a female. Unfortunately this isn’t the first rapper spreading false hope on how to land the ladies. Countless songs filled with lyrics about how disrespecting females, being tough, and popping bottles on Tuesdays is the route to attracting endless supplies of sexy women and side chicks, has got men confused.

Now, this is coming from a girl who LOVES hip-hop. When it comes to music, I’m submersed in J Cole, Kanye, Kendrick, Drake, 21 Savage, Chance, etc. So, no, this isn’t a feministically charged article on “why rap is evil and only degrades women," because I don’t believe that. However, what I am saying is don’t be too disappointed when sending, “Wuts up baby your so hot," not only makes me question whether you passed fourth grade, but also doesn’t score a response.

Just because they’re saying it doesn’t make it factual. People stretch the truth all of the time, it’s called embellishing, and it’s something we do when we want people to think we’re cooler and more BA than we truly are. Rappers do this constantly. Flaunting their lifestyles through lyrics should be expected; maybe they want to brag, maybe it just rhymed, hell, maybe they didn’t even write it.

Even if all they talk about is "getting b*tches" and how women bow down to them, doesn't mean it's true. Look at Chris Brown and Karrueche. She didn't let him slide on cheating just because he's Chris Brown, super celebrity. No, she dropped him and didn't look back because real ladies don't tolerate F-boy behavior. So warning: don't try that at home.

Also, quick reality check, you are not a famous rapper. Not that I agree with it, but money talks to some women (or people in general). A lot of times the reason these guys are getting so much attention from the ladies isn't because they slid in the DMs with a catchy one-liner, but because they have a whole lot of $$$. Don't let this upset you though, money doesn't typically attract substance, so you aren't missing out on much.

Now, as a girl with a boyfriend, these types of messages will earn you an automatic block, but I believe I speak for the majority of women when I say this isn’t the best route to try and “get to know us." If you just want to get laid, try Tinder, Blendr, Sexter? I don’t know, I can’t even keep track of all the apps anymore, but IG and Facebook aren’t the places. There are literally millions of apps out there that were specifically created for the purpose of meeting for casual hookups where you will be connected with people WHO ARE ALSO LOOKING FOR CASUAL HOOKUPS. These are the places where busting out your favorite pick up lines filled with sexual innuendos is totally appropriate. Seeking out and messaging ladies who are not using these apps, usually for a reason, is where you run into the problem.

My best advice for you gentlemen is to just not. Don’t slide in there. Save yourself the time and embarrassment because the only thing she’ll probably do with that message is screenshot it and send it to her friends. If you are trying to connect online, with more intentions then to just hook up, try a more subtle route. Like a few of her pictures, comment that her hair looks nice, and if you’ve got to shoot a DM because you think it’s your only chance at capturing her attention, it isn’t that hard. Ask if she wants to get coffee, boom, it’s not rocket science guys.

Hearing songs like this has drilled it into many men that sliding into the DMs will bring you sexual success. Social media has also made this easier to believe since you can connect with anyone, anytime. Reinforcement from popular music, mixed with the added courage you get from being able to send messages from behind a screen is just a disaster waiting to happen. Basic rule of thumb guys, if you wouldn’t have the balls to say it to her face, don’t slip it in the DM’s.