I Can't Be The Only One Who Feels Like I Skipped The 'Freshman' Phase

I Can't Be The Only One Who Feels Like I Skipped The 'Freshman' Phase

Feeling like I skipped the typical freshman phase is an isolating and lonely feeling, but I know I'm not alone; its just hard to find others like me.


As a second semester freshman at Temple University, I am faced with expectations of partying, taking easy classes, and just having fun before college gets serious. I feel like we're all expected to go through this phase; it's like a rite of passage.

I should be right in the middle of this phase, but I'm not. I feel like I just skipped right over it. And let me tell you, it's an isolating feeling. Even though I feel like I'm alone, I can't possibly be the only one here who can't relate to the other students around them.

I put a lot of time into my academics. Yes, the early on gen-eds and introductory courses are easy, but I still want to do well and I have some other classes that require more effort. I have only been to one party since being here and I didn't really like it. I spend a lot of my free time alone, reading, listening to podcasts, and watching movies. I'm planning for my future and trying to find opportunities to build my resume and figure out where I'll be after undergrad.

Maybe I'm a little ahead of myself, but I would much rather spend my time doing things that matter than forcing myself to fit in by doing something that I don't even enjoy.

I have been told before that I'm more mature than other people my age, and that I'm probably going to feel pretty lonely until everyone catches up to me. I don't take that as being better than anyone. Believe me, I would much rather be able to relate to other young college students, but I just don't. I definitely feel like a weirdo sometimes.

I have a lot of acquaintances that I say hello to when I see them on campus, but no real friends that I spend time with and feel like I connect with. As much as I feel alone, I know I can't be the only one. Not every college freshman parties and isn't worried about anything. Not every college freshman is the stereotype. But it seems to be really hard to find people like me, people who keep to themselves and spend a lot of time alone.

The purpose of my message here is that you are not alone, even if you feel like you are. If you relate to this in any way, you aren't the only one. People who feel the same way are just hard to find.

This is a message to myself just as much as it's to you. It's time to push ourselves to find each other. Push ourselves to step out of our comfort zone and really put ourselves out there to find the people we truly connect with. Social connection can be prioritized in the busy lifestyle that college students live.

You're not alone.

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20 Lessons You Learn When Living In A Dorm

I never know what to do when someone is in *my* shower stall.

As a child you grow up unable to wait for college. Unable to wait for the freedom. Living with your best friend sounds like a dream come true. But living in a 10x10 cinderblock room? Not so much. You don't truly know what it is like to live in a dorm until, well, you've actually lived in a dorm. Living in a dorm is a lot of fun, but it has its downsides:

1. Fear of someone taking “your shower"

2. The fight for a washer/dryer

3. Or when someone takes your wet clothes out of the washer and puts it on a table before you get to it

4. Locking your door because you never know when someone will randomly barge in

5. Its 2 a.m. and you're dying of thirst but your roommate didn't fill the Brita

6. You've become immune to the gross hallway smell

7. Cleaning services always clean the bathroom at the most inconvenient times

8. Having killer legs because the elevators are out of order every other day

9. Cinderblock is not soundproof, so you can hear everything your neighbors do

10. Learning to make the most of your small jail-cell of a room by adding pictures and string lights

11. When someone is in "your bathroom stall"

12. Forgetting you can't walk around barefoot because the floors are disgusting

13. Trying to be quiet when you're roommate is asleep (the worst)

14. Dining hall hours are AWFUL (and the food isn't great either)

15. Or when your roommate brings someone back to the room

16. Putting stuff in your fridge is like playing Tetris

17. Having an 8 a.m. class on Friday but the Thirsty Thursday crowd comes home wasted and screaming at 3 a.m.

18. When your package says it was delivered but housing didn't send the email saying you can go pick it up

19. You have no control over the heat so in the winter if you close the window it's too hot but if it's open you freeze

20. But despite it all, living in a dorm is a right of passage and a time you'll never forget and a place you'll never want to leave

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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5 Ways Being An Out-Of-State Student Is Actually An Advantage

When you leave behind the people who raised you, you learn how to keep yourself in control.


Yes, you read that right. Being from one state whilst attending university in another is quite possibly the best thing to have ever happened to me. The funny thing is, however, that while I was a senior in high school and applying to colleges, I never envisioned traveling from coast to coast. I'm from the Bay Area in California, and I currently attend school in Central Jersey (which, yes, exists).

Jersey. Home of the Jersey Devil. Birthplace of Halsey. Right next to New York.

When I realized I had to move across the country, I experienced all sorts of emotions. I was sad just as much as I was excited to be away from home, finally free to live on my own and do things I imagined growing up. Though I have had my ups and downs in the past year, I wouldn't trade them for anything else. Here's why.

1. With more independence comes more maturity

Being so far from my parents meant I was allowed to do what I wanted; so I did! I've been to New York, Pennsylvania, AND Washington DC. I've learned how to take the trains to and from New Brunswick. Best of all, I learned how to perfect air travel so much that I'm now a Premier Status Member for United. Pretty cool, huh? My favorite part is the FREEDOM. You get to dictate how you want to live. Your parents aren't there to ban you from doing things. However, with this power also comes responsibility. You learn how to become a functioning adult because you have a lot at stake- which brings me into my next point.

2. You can focus more on the things that matter

When you're out of state, you're also paying twice as much as someone in state is paying. This means you have a lot at stake, especially if your parents are paying your tuition. I was someone who didn't do my best in high school, but I came to college knowing that my parents were paying good money for it. I also love studying what I love, and keeping my responsibilities and duties in check is what made my GPA pretty sexy. You learn how to prioritize your activities!

3. You're more grateful and appreciative of your family

I don't see my parents and brother as much. If I'm lucky, I get to see them every few months. This is what makes it all the more better. After you eat Busch Dining Hall food for months, you start to miss the Indian food you so effortlessly complained about at home. Busch Dining Hall's hot dogs are NOTHING compared to Amma's dosas. You also learn the importance of sibling love and bonds. I've missed my brother so much it's crazy. It's almost like "Oh my god, I actually miss this person." When you get sick it's the worst too; you miss how your mom used to take care of you because now you have to get up and do things YOURSELF. I was sick for a bit last week and I missed everything about being home. It's a blessing and a curse in disguise because it teaches you about family.

4. You learn to keep your emotions in check

When you leave behind the people who raised you, you learn how to keep yourself in control. You learn how to value relationships you make with people, but you also learn not to expect too much from anyone. In college, people can leave your life just as fast as they entered it. As a result, you learn how to balance sadness with happiness. It's OK to cry every once in a while, but you also know when you need to get help. You're the ONLY person that you can count on to keep you healthy and happy. Relationships are amazing too, but you can only be in a successful relationship when you're in the right headspace, and being on your own is a good way to cultivate that.

5. You become more outgoing

When you're on your own, there's nothing holding you back or down from doing new things. So you join more clubs, you meet more people, you talk to more people, and you SEIZE. OPPORTUNITIES. You network with others. You have the power to be as great as you want, and this is something I value so much.

* * *

If you're a senior in high school reading this, then I advise you NOT to be afraid of making the move. It's not as scary as it seems, I promise. If you're already an out-of-state student, then I'm sure these are things you definitely agree with and/or relate to. Making the move from California to New Jersey was the best decision I made because I'm amongst some of the most open-minded, loving people I've ever met.

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