How I grew to be Body Positive

I Love Myself, So Why Can't the World Accept That?

It's okay to love who you are, no matter your size.

251
Miranda Schriedel

For as long as I can remember, I've been bigger than the other kids around me. I was taller than most of the boys in my sixth grade math class and I wore a bigger size than most of the girls in my high school. I would never say that I'm fat, I'm just bigger than most of the people around me.

Growing up in a world that hates big girls was not an easy battle. I constantly worried about whether or not I would ever go on a date or even get married. I developed this idea that if the popular girls didn't want to be friends with me, it was because I was plus-sized. I would go shopping for dances like homecoming and prom, and just remember crying in dressing room after dressing room because the dress that I'd fallen in love with on the rack didn't come in my size.

By the time I started high school, I had become accustomed to hiding my body in sweatpants and baggy shirts, to hide the size of my stomach or the extra weight on my legs. I was hiding myself from the world because I thought the world would never accept me for what I was.

I tried for years to lose the weight. I would work three times as hard as other people at the gym or in a workout class, because I was so determined to change my appearance. My face would get so red that the instructor would pull me aside and ask if I was alright because it looked like I was going to pass out. I avoided meal after meal, but then would stuff my face later because I'd been starving myself. I researched diet after diet, circuit after circuit, supplement after supplement, and even looked into what it would be like to have gastric bypass surgery, convinced that it would have been easier and faster than working out and changing my diet.

Nothing worked. People would tell me that I was beautiful no matter what but, I never believed them. I figured they looked at me and felt bad for me because of how I looked, and they said those things to me out of pity. I began to isolate myself from my peers, hiding in my room reading books or watching Youtube videos on my Grandma's laptop. I didn't like to move around during class because I would have to squeeze my body between in the desks in a classroom. I didn't shift my position in my chair because it would creak under me. I was scared to go outside because I had this unbelievable fear that my weight would destroy me.

As I got involved with social media in high school, I would see other beautiful women who embraced their size and even had careers because of it. I wondered why they could love themselves, yet I still couldn't. So, I stopped trying to change and tried being myself for the first time. I met girls in my new high school who didn't constantly worry about how they looked or how many likes they got on their Instagram posts, girls who just wanted to have fun and enjoy their lives.

I went out to the things that I wanted to, and didn't constantly worry about people staring at me because I was bigger. I discovered the amazing world of plus-size fashion, and traded my baggy clothes for jeans, leggings and even tube tops. I grew to know my own beauty and love my body. It's the only one I'm going to get, so what's the point of continuing to reject myself?

Now, all of this is not me saying that being overweight or even obese is alright, because it's not and it plagues many people all over the world. Honestly, I am not the most physically healthy right now. I am aware of the choices I make when it comes to my level of fitness, but it's not taking over my life. I am not constantly aware of what I look like, which is odd because it seems like the rest of the world is.

There have always been people in my life who would say I was beautiful, and then the infamous "but" would follow. I didn't really pay attention to it at first, but overtime, I started to notice it more wherever I was. Whenever I would eat something, it was always, "are you sure you want to eat all that?" When I bought my first bikini suit, it was, "you don't have the body type for that. You should cover up."

I knew that the people that said stuff like this only wanted what was best for me, but I don't think they realized how much it was actually tearing me down. It made me more self-conscious, and made me feel like there were voices in my head constantly tearing me down. Throughout my entire teenage life, these voices had manifested into people I would trust with my life.

Sometimes people I didn't even know thought that I needed to hear their opinions on my life style. Sometimes, it wasn't even my life. It was comments I would see on other girl's posts, people that were influencers for other girls like me out there. People who just had to give their thoughts about this amazing human being who was living their life and loving themselves.

It all goes over like it's nothing though. If this had been someone criticizing the color of the person's skin or anything like that, there would be outrage throughout the comments and it would be so offensive and so awful that no one would be able to take it. As soon as someone says something about how "big" the person is or how they "shouldn't wear that" because of how they look, it gets lost the comments.

There are the positives though. People are beginning to accept the big girls. They are beginning to let them be happy, because these amazing, strong women are saying that they don't care what people say. They are beautiful because they are true. They're not bending the ways they live just to be accepted.

Those waves of comments that I mentioned earlier, they're starting to get outnumbered by words of friendship, love, and acceptance. The world is changing, I know that. These people, the one's who let self-love live, they're the reason I have hope for this world.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

For a long time, Goya has been a staple in some Latino households. People carry around jars of Adobo when they eat at friend's houses and packets of Sazón Goya can be found in almost everyone's pantry. Many BuzzFeed lists, videos, and memes aimed at Latinos reference Goya somewhere.

But in a year that just keeps hitting us with bad news, Goya Foods CEO Robert Unanue said that Trump was an "incredible builder" and that the US was "blessed" to have him as president at a White House event on Thursday.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Everything You Need To Know About COVID-19 Outcomes, Because It Has To End Eventually

You've heard a lot of possible outcomes thrown around, let's break them down.

If you log into any social media app, you will be overwhelmed with self-appointed experts, preaching the correct way to end this coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic from the comfort of their La-Z-Boy chair. Aside from those dramatic children on TikTok, it's all anyone can talk about. There's an obvious reason for this — the pandemic has taken our world and flopped it on its head, bringing confusion, angst, and an obnoxious amount of sourdough bread into our lives.

All this to say, it's easy to get lost amidst the storm of arguments online. Instead, it's best to break down what's actually going on so we can have an educated perspective as we look to work together to move past our current predicament.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Raven Baxter Was Our Favorite Teen Fashion Icon And We're Still Recreating Her Best Looks, Here

We take a look at Disney's most fashion-forward show to recreate some iconic looks.

Disney Plus

I grew up in the early 2000s. And, like any child at the time, I was hooked on Disney Channel shows. My favorite was and is "That's So Raven."

Raven is a teenage psychic navigating life in hopes of not revealing her powers. Only her family and close friends know she has them. Her powers oftentimes get her in trouble, which is where the comedy comes in. But, they also teach her and her friends sentimental life lessons.

Keep Reading... Show less

Sobriety is so underrated, even when it comes to healthcare. The instant gratification of a substance or drink isn't exactly as gratifying as some people may think. For those of you who've never been hungover, consider yourself lucky — a hangover is biologically horrifying. A hangover is not instant gratification, so who are we kidding when people say "it just feels good." Being healthy actually feels good and won't hurt you or your bank account in the morning. The best way to be healthy is to choose sobriety.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ah, yes. The juice cleanse. Yet another popular diet trend that promises to magically solve all of your health, nutrition, and weight issues.

When you take a close look, juice cleanses aren't as magical as they are made out to be, and in fact, they might do more harm than good.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Unauthorized Plastic Surgery Is Totally Unethical, And Happening WAY More Often Than We Know ‬

Plastic surgery for cosmetic enhancements has you looking more botched than beautiful and it’s painful to see.

Coming from someone who could afford numerous cosmetic enhancing procedures I would never in a million years cut up my face or my body. I'm pretty emphatic and when I watch these brainwashed victims with bandages and chronic inflammation (swollen lips) I literally feel their pain.

Keep Reading... Show less

I've never been big on casual wear or athleisure. Most people who know me have never seen me in sweats. But, I do have those two or three pairs of sweats I can't resist climbing into the second I get home, the newest addition of which is the extra cozy Odyssey crewneck sweatshirt I got in an XL size to feel as close to being wrapped in a blanket at all times as possible.

In the past several months, I've started to expand my horizons, considering the ways in which I can bring my small wardrobe of comfortable bedroom clothing into the public. I've experimented with topping leggings and a sports bra with a denim jacket to the park, and an oversized sweatshirt worn as a dress, cinched at the waist with a belt when I'm out wearing leggings.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

How To Dress Like Your Favorite 'Insecure' Characters — Without Spending $2,000

We take a look at the fashion of Insecure season 4, and how you can create these looks yourself.

HBO

Insecure is one of my favorite shows ever. It really encapsulates what it's like being a Black 20-something, trying to navigate the many ups and downs of life. Issa, Molly, Kelli, and Tiffany are living their best lives in California while dealing with the twists and turns that come with that.

From life to relationships to careers, this show truly captures everything that runs through my mind on a daily basis. The show has a sense of realness and a strong frankness that makes you gravitate toward the characters and root for their success.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments