How I grew to be Body Positive
Start writing a post

I Love Myself, So Why Can't the World Accept That?

It's okay to love who you are, no matter your size.

I Love Myself, So Why Can't the World Accept That?
Miranda Schriedel

For as long as I can remember, I've been bigger than the other kids around me. I was taller than most of the boys in my sixth grade math class and I wore a bigger size than most of the girls in my high school. I would never say that I'm fat, I'm just bigger than most of the people around me.

Growing up in a world that hates big girls was not an easy battle. I constantly worried about whether or not I would ever go on a date or even get married. I developed this idea that if the popular girls didn't want to be friends with me, it was because I was plus-sized. I would go shopping for dances like homecoming and prom, and just remember crying in dressing room after dressing room because the dress that I'd fallen in love with on the rack didn't come in my size.

By the time I started high school, I had become accustomed to hiding my body in sweatpants and baggy shirts, to hide the size of my stomach or the extra weight on my legs. I was hiding myself from the world because I thought the world would never accept me for what I was.

I tried for years to lose the weight. I would work three times as hard as other people at the gym or in a workout class, because I was so determined to change my appearance. My face would get so red that the instructor would pull me aside and ask if I was alright because it looked like I was going to pass out. I avoided meal after meal, but then would stuff my face later because I'd been starving myself. I researched diet after diet, circuit after circuit, supplement after supplement, and even looked into what it would be like to have gastric bypass surgery, convinced that it would have been easier and faster than working out and changing my diet.

Nothing worked. People would tell me that I was beautiful no matter what but, I never believed them. I figured they looked at me and felt bad for me because of how I looked, and they said those things to me out of pity. I began to isolate myself from my peers, hiding in my room reading books or watching Youtube videos on my Grandma's laptop. I didn't like to move around during class because I would have to squeeze my body between in the desks in a classroom. I didn't shift my position in my chair because it would creak under me. I was scared to go outside because I had this unbelievable fear that my weight would destroy me.

As I got involved with social media in high school, I would see other beautiful women who embraced their size and even had careers because of it. I wondered why they could love themselves, yet I still couldn't. So, I stopped trying to change and tried being myself for the first time. I met girls in my new high school who didn't constantly worry about how they looked or how many likes they got on their Instagram posts, girls who just wanted to have fun and enjoy their lives.

I went out to the things that I wanted to, and didn't constantly worry about people staring at me because I was bigger. I discovered the amazing world of plus-size fashion, and traded my baggy clothes for jeans, leggings and even tube tops. I grew to know my own beauty and love my body. It's the only one I'm going to get, so what's the point of continuing to reject myself?

Now, all of this is not me saying that being overweight or even obese is alright, because it's not and it plagues many people all over the world. Honestly, I am not the most physically healthy right now. I am aware of the choices I make when it comes to my level of fitness, but it's not taking over my life. I am not constantly aware of what I look like, which is odd because it seems like the rest of the world is.

There have always been people in my life who would say I was beautiful, and then the infamous "but" would follow. I didn't really pay attention to it at first, but overtime, I started to notice it more wherever I was. Whenever I would eat something, it was always, "are you sure you want to eat all that?" When I bought my first bikini suit, it was, "you don't have the body type for that. You should cover up."

I knew that the people that said stuff like this only wanted what was best for me, but I don't think they realized how much it was actually tearing me down. It made me more self-conscious, and made me feel like there were voices in my head constantly tearing me down. Throughout my entire teenage life, these voices had manifested into people I would trust with my life.

Sometimes people I didn't even know thought that I needed to hear their opinions on my life style. Sometimes, it wasn't even my life. It was comments I would see on other girl's posts, people that were influencers for other girls like me out there. People who just had to give their thoughts about this amazing human being who was living their life and loving themselves.

It all goes over like it's nothing though. If this had been someone criticizing the color of the person's skin or anything like that, there would be outrage throughout the comments and it would be so offensive and so awful that no one would be able to take it. As soon as someone says something about how "big" the person is or how they "shouldn't wear that" because of how they look, it gets lost the comments.

There are the positives though. People are beginning to accept the big girls. They are beginning to let them be happy, because these amazing, strong women are saying that they don't care what people say. They are beautiful because they are true. They're not bending the ways they live just to be accepted.

Those waves of comments that I mentioned earlier, they're starting to get outnumbered by words of friendship, love, and acceptance. The world is changing, I know that. These people, the one's who let self-love live, they're the reason I have hope for this world.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

New England Summers Are The BEST Summers

Why you should spend your next summer in New England.

Marconi Beach

Three years ago, I chose to attend college in Philadelphia, approximately 360 miles away from my small town in New Hampshire. I have learned many valuable lessons away from home, and have thoroughly enjoyed my time spent in Pennsylvania. One thing that my experience has taught me, however, is that it is absolutely impossible to beat a New England summer.

Keep Reading...Show less

Fibonacci Sequence Examples: 7 Beautiful Instances In Nature

Nature is beautiful (and so is math). The last one will blow your mind.

illustration of the fibonacci sequence

Yes, the math major is doing a math-related post. What are the odds? I'll have to calculate it later. Many people have probably learned about the Fibonacci sequence in their high school math classes. However, I thought I would just refresh everyone's memories and show how math can be beautiful and apply to physical things everywhere around us with stunning examples.

Keep Reading...Show less
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments