Dear Little Sister,
You’ll be 10 when someone points out a flaw in you. They’ll tell you, your nose is too big or your eyebrows grow weird. You’ll come home and tell me. I’ll kiss your nose and tell you it’s perfect. I’ll tell you that some people can’t handle other people’s beauty. At first you will believe me. You’ll brush off their hateful words. But, the more you hear them the more their words become your inner thoughts.
You’ll be 11 when you start comparing yourself to the other girls. You’ll ask me why you don’t have a body like her. You’ll say “sis why don’t I look like that?” I’ll tell you that we are all made individually unique. I’ll tell you that you’re fine just the way you are.
You’ll be 12 when you first start to hate things about yourself. Pointing out flaws in the mirror like constellations in the sky. So many of them you'll see. You’ll say “Sis I hate my hair, and the color of my eyes.” I’ll tell you “your hair cascades like a dark waterfall down your shoulders and your eyes are the color of summer honey.”
You will be 13 when you start crushing on boys or girls that won’t like you back. You’ll cry and wonder why. You’ll say “Sis why don’t they like me?” I’ll tell you some people just don’t know what’s in front of them. I’ll tell you, you are too young to be crushing and school’s more important.
You’ll be 14 when you start padding your bra or dying your hair, anything to make you fit in and belong. You’ll ask me what color I like and I’ll tell you, your natural color is perfect a chestnut brown. You’ll be 15 when you meet them for the first time. They will come crashing into your life like a wave at first. Slowly edging its way to your shore. Then one day you’ll wake up in love and like a hurricane they will wreak havoc on your heart. You’ll say sis “I think I’m in love.” I’ll laugh and tell you, you don’t know what love is just yet.
You’ll be 16 when you come to me with blood stained eyes and ask me the question I never wanted to answer. “Sis, why am I not good enough.”
I’ll tell you that you’ve always been enough. From the moment you entered my life. You were born with the stars in your eyes and flowers on your head. I’ll tell you that you’re so smart and so strong. That there’s nothing you could do that would make me any less proud of you. I’ll tell you stories of when I was 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, and when my heart was broken at 16. I’ll tell you what I wanted to hear. I’ll tell you that he or she didn’t deserve you. I’ll tell you that you don’t need anyone to complete you because, you’re whole on your own. That you are perfect and loved already. That someday you will find another and they will come into your life like a breeze. Sweet and easy and you will know that love doesn’t make you hurt like this. That love should never be hard or make you doubt your own self-worth. I know now that it hurts and it feels like you will never move on. That you will never forget them. I know that it feels like your heart has been branded with their name.
But, one day you’ll wake up and their name will be a distant memory.
You’ll wake up and realize you love yourself regardless of who does or doesn’t. You’ll wake up and know you can count on me. Always and forever. I’ll be there when you fall down to pick you back up. I’ll be there to carry you on the harder days when you just can’t do it on your own. I’ll protect you. I’ll guide you. Until I take my last breath and every day after. Even when I can’t be there physically I’m always thinking about you. Always worrying. Always proud. Always your big sis. I’ll tell you with a big smile on my face “Chin up, baby girl, you’re loved.”
