Alright y'all most of us are already back in school, while others are loading up the truck to head back soon...you know what that means! Back to campus! Back to the turn ups, late night study sessions, and of course the drafting time for cuffing season. News flash, just in case you live life through movies, college is not like Love & Basketball, Drumline, or any other movie that has you believing that Mr.Perfect will knock on your dorm door. But that's okay, though some people meet their soulmate at school, the rest of us only wish...and party. It's okay to be single in college though...why?
College is a place of growth.
These four years will be spent making memories, learning about yourself, and capitalizing on being a 'student' to ensure success after receiving that diploma.I took a break (which turned into a break up) with my high school sweetheart. Upon leaving for school I had done a lot of thinking. I remembered how psyched I was to go to A&T and how hard I worked to get there. I wanted to make sure I made the best of my undergrad experience. Knowing that my heart was in Virginia would have most likely had me coming home more times than I should have. I was not ready for a long distance relationship. Of course the first few months were tough, but as I sucked up the tears I got really focused. My mind was no longer on a boy, but on my books (hello somebody!) and I finished off my freshman year with a 3.94 GPA (top 20% of my class)
Build a friendship first
The best relationships start out as friendships. Of course, with fall around the corner the idea of 'netflix and chilling' with someone sounds ideal...but who are you really dealing with? Should the status change, make sure it's in adequate time. What's the rush? You'll see them within the week especially since campus is not but so big. In the beginning everyone is nice but as the school year settles in, and everyone gets comfortable, the true colors come out. Not to say that necessarily in a haunting way but some people are eye candy, and others are soul food.
Main Purpose of College - Get that Degree and Don't Waste Time
Again, college is first and foremost for getting our degree not wife or hubby. There's going to be a lot of eye candy (especially at an HBCU) but unless they are going to help build up your empire, motivate you to reach for the stars, or keep you on track, they are not worth the time and energy. Newsflash! College is too expensive to be laid up, wasting time with scrubs and scalawags. In case your self worth is in question, YOU ARE PRICELESS. I've notice upon entering college, some students didn't think they were appealing until someone told them so. Just because someone calls you "cute" does not mean they have your best interest in mind. Remember dating is on your own time, whenever you are ready to open yourself up to another person you deem worthy.
Friends Before Men (or Women)
Realistically speaking, who will be down in the long run, your friends? or Bae? Hopefully both, but its okay to be single in college because you will be more social and have more time to make lasting memories with your friends. In a relationship on the weekends what are you most likely to do? Go out with your friends or lay up with bae? Hopefully common ground will be sought where you all are able to spend time with friends, but for the most part you would LOVE to be under each other; gazing into each others eyes while your friends are out having fun, experiencing things that will be the inside joke for the next decade.
Who are you? - Finding yourself
This was a biggie when it came to my break with my high school sweetheart. Ladies this is especially for you. I wanted to find myself. What is finding yourself exactly? Finding yourself, is taking a step back and self evaluating who you are. College was the place where I began to find myself. It was only right since it would be my first time on my own. I asked myself who am I? Am I really who my parents groomed me to be? Is this major what I really want to study and pursue as a career? How will I manage on my own? Though I am still figuring all of this out, I could not do this in a relationship. Why? Because everything I did would be centered around fitting into his schedule of life to make it work. We see how speedy life has progressed thus far, and it will only increase in speed as we mature; before you know it you'll be married with kids on the way wondering 'man where did time go?'
Hopefully I didn't scare anyone out of a relationship, I was just shining a little light for some of us who don't get that 'goodmorning' text. Everything has it's pros and cons, especially being in or out of a relationship. There's no rush to date in college, just make friends and see where it goes. Unless you are psychic, or they throw obvious hints, you probably won't even know who likes you, so always look A1. College is the one time in life you are allowed to be super selfish - these four years will lay the foundation for the rest of your life! Make sure that foundation is sturdy, strong, and can withstand storms. A comes before B, so academics come before bae.
Have a great year, good luck, and good morning/night just incase no one texted it to you.
