How to Be Single

How to Be Single

The most commonly hated season of life is actually the sweetest.

Everyone is single at some point in their life. Maybe you were only single until you met your future husband at 16. Maybe you're 27 and at the most lonely, "bachelorette" season of your life. No matter what the case, we've all been single. And as I've talked to more and more single people and have experienced a longer and longer season of singleness myself, I've started to realize that it's rare to find someone content in their singleness. It makes sense though, right? We all want to be in love. We all want someone who wants us back. We all desire a companion to "do life" with. The Lord made us to be in relationship with one another! However, we tend to overlook the importance of the single seasons of our lives.

This weekend, I was shown an illustration of a child going to his father and holding his hand. The father assumes the child wants to be with him and spend time with him, but instead, the child asks his father to get his favorite toy for him from the top shelf. The boy, in a sense, is using his father to get something he wants, but all the father wants is to be with his son and spend time with him. I find myself doing that sometimes with the Lord. I know that giving him my fear of singleness and my desire to be in a relationship will ultimately lead to Him providing me the perfect man. However, I'm starting to wonder if I am giving those things to the Lord because I want to spend more time with him or because I know I'll get the right man out of it?

How selfish of me. How awful is it of me to use my Heavenly Father that way. And I'm sure you've done it too. You pray to the Lord to make you content in your singleness and to teach you patience, but do you really mean it? Do you really want to be content in His love or are you just saying that because "it's how you get a boyfriend?"

I know, it's harsh. But what I want you (and myself) to realize is that being single is a GIFT. Paul literally says in 1 Corinthian 7 that the Lord gives us single seasons in our life as a GIFT. And you know what? It's a gift that we often refuse; a gift that we don't even want. But do you realize that the Lord has our best interests in mind? Do you realize that He knows what's ultimately best for our lives? If this is the kind of gift He wants to give us, why are we not excitedly receiving it?

When I hear that this is a gift He's giving me, one question comes to mind: why? Why, God, are you giving me this "gift" if You know I just want to love someone so, so badly. Why are you wishing for me to be content and happy and joyful in this season of life when you know the desire of my heart is to be in a relationship?

In 1 Corinthians 7:35, Paul says, "I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

Breakaway Ministries did a series on relationships, and one of the messages was titled, "The Gift of Singleness." The speaker talks about basically everything I'm saying, and He stresses how important it is to focus on the Lord and to form a relationship with Him that is free from distractions. At one point in the message, the speaker says, "There's a lot of hurt when you look for a prince or a princess to do what only your King can do."

His plan for us is FAR greater than we can expect. And in this time where we have no distractions, why aren't we putting all of our attention on Him? Why are we looking for satisfaction and love and assurance from earthly beings when HE is the sole provider of eternal fulfillment?

Y'all, I don't know about you, but for me, I can't imagine anything better than getting to spend more and more time with the Lord. Nothing is better than having the opportunity to be selfish about my quiet time. In this season of no distractions and no commitments, we have the ability to know the Lord deeper, wider, and fuller than we ever will be able to in this lifetime.

So instead of using the Lord to get to the toy at the top of the shelf, just be with Him. Just spend time with Him and give Him all of your anxieties and worries when it comes to relationships. Soak up this distraction-free, beautiful time with Him, and form a relationship with Him that will never waiver. His plan for your life is incredible. The husband or wife he has waiting for you is so much more wonderful and perfect for you than you can ever imagine. But until that desire of yours is fulfilled, bask in this intimate time with the Lord. He is offering you this amazing gift, but will you receive it?

Cover Image Credit: Meagan Hobbs

Popular Right Now

I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit:

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The Football World Loses One Of Its Finest Players

Bart Starr passed away and NFL players, coaches, and fans all mourn the loss of the Packer legend, but his life and career will live on in hearts of Packer nation forever.


Bart Starr passed away at the age of 85 in Birmingham, Alabama. The NFL lost a great player. The Green Bay Packers lost a hero. And, the world lost a true gentleman. Starr's legacy has surpassed his accomplishments on the gridiron. He inspired not only his peers but the generations that have come after him. He is — and always — will be remembered as a Hall of Famer, a champion, and a Packer.

Bart Starr was a Packers legend. Starr led Green Bay to six division titles and five world championships. As the quarterback of Vince Lombardi's offense, he kept the machine going and executed the plays like no other. His mastery of the position was a large part of the Packers success in the 1960s. Starr was also the perfect teammate for the perfect team. His leadership put him in command of the Packers. Starr's time in Green Bay will not be forgotten by former players, coaches, and the fans.

Bart Starr's resume is rivaled by few in NFL history. He played in 10 postseason games and won 9 of them. He led the Packers to victory in Super Bowls I and II and won the MVP award in both games. He was the MVP of the league in 1966 and was named to the NFL All-Decade Team of the 1960s. The Packers retired his number 15 and Starr has been inducted into the Packers and Pro Football Hall of Fame.

After his playing days, Starr would become the head coach of the Packers. He could not repeat the success he had on the field from the 1960s teams. His coaching years do not take away from his legacy as one of the all-time great Packers. Starr was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1977.

One of Starr's last visits to Lambeau field was on a cold November night in 2015. Starr and his wife attended a ceremony in which the Packers retired Brett Favre's jersey number. Starr was the perfect personification of what it meant to be a Packer. His most heroic moment came in the 1967 NFL Championship Game. The Ice Bowl came down to a third and goal in Lambeau Field's south endzone against the Dallas Cowboys. Starr came to the sidelines and bravely told Vince Lombardi that he can sneak it in for a game-winning touchdown. Lombardi then replied, "Run it, and let's get the hell out of here." Starr ran a quarterback sneak for the game-winner and the Packers were off to Super Bowl II. Without Starr, Green Bay would not have won a second straight Super Bowl. His leadership in big game moments will live with Packers fans for a lifetime.

Vince Lombardi: A Football Life - The Ice Bowl

Starr leaves behind his wife Cherry, his son, and three granddaughters. Packers fans will have a tight grip on the memories Bart Starr and the 60s teams created. Starr left behind a template for being a Green Bay Packer. He also left a template for being a good man and a gentleman of the game of football. He was a competitor and a leader. Packer nation mourns for the loss of one of the finest human beings the game has seen.

Related Content

Facebook Comments