Everyone is single at some point in their life. Maybe you were only single until you met your future husband at 16. Maybe you're 27 and at the most lonely, "bachelorette" season of your life. No matter what the case, we've all been single. And as I've talked to more and more single people and have experienced a longer and longer season of singleness myself, I've started to realize that it's rare to find someone content in their singleness. It makes sense though, right? We all want to be in love. We all want someone who wants us back. We all desire a companion to "do life" with. The Lord made us to be in relationship with one another! However, we tend to overlook the importance of the single seasons of our lives.
This weekend, I was shown an illustration of a child going to his father and holding his hand. The father assumes the child wants to be with him and spend time with him, but instead, the child asks his father to get his favorite toy for him from the top shelf. The boy, in a sense, is using his father to get something he wants, but all the father wants is to be with his son and spend time with him. I find myself doing that sometimes with the Lord. I know that giving him my fear of singleness and my desire to be in a relationship will ultimately lead to Him providing me the perfect man. However, I'm starting to wonder if I am giving those things to the Lord because I want to spend more time with him or because I know I'll get the right man out of it?
How selfish of me. How awful is it of me to use my Heavenly Father that way. And I'm sure you've done it too. You pray to the Lord to make you content in your singleness and to teach you patience, but do you really mean it? Do you really want to be content in His love or are you just saying that because "it's how you get a boyfriend?"
I know, it's harsh. But what I want you (and myself) to realize is that being single is a GIFT. Paul literally says in 1 Corinthian 7 that the Lord gives us single seasons in our life as a GIFT. And you know what? It's a gift that we often refuse; a gift that we don't even want. But do you realize that the Lord has our best interests in mind? Do you realize that He knows what's ultimately best for our lives? If this is the kind of gift He wants to give us, why are we not excitedly receiving it?
When I hear that this is a gift He's giving me, one question comes to mind: why? Why, God, are you giving me this "gift" if You know I just want to love someone so, so badly. Why are you wishing for me to be content and happy and joyful in this season of life when you know the desire of my heart is to be in a relationship?
In 1 Corinthians 7:35, Paul says, "I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."
Breakaway Ministries did a series on relationships, and one of the messages was titled, "The Gift of Singleness." The speaker talks about basically everything I'm saying, and He stresses how important it is to focus on the Lord and to form a relationship with Him that is free from distractions. At one point in the message, the speaker says, "There's a lot of hurt when you look for a prince or a princess to do what only your King can do."
His plan for us is FAR greater than we can expect. And in this time where we have no distractions, why aren't we putting all of our attention on Him? Why are we looking for satisfaction and love and assurance from earthly beings when HE is the sole provider of eternal fulfillment?
Y'all, I don't know about you, but for me, I can't imagine anything better than getting to spend more and more time with the Lord. Nothing is better than having the opportunity to be selfish about my quiet time. In this season of no distractions and no commitments, we have the ability to know the Lord deeper, wider, and fuller than we ever will be able to in this lifetime.
So instead of using the Lord to get to the toy at the top of the shelf, just be with Him. Just spend time with Him and give Him all of your anxieties and worries when it comes to relationships. Soak up this distraction-free, beautiful time with Him, and form a relationship with Him that will never waiver. His plan for your life is incredible. The husband or wife he has waiting for you is so much more wonderful and perfect for you than you can ever imagine. But until that desire of yours is fulfilled, bask in this intimate time with the Lord. He is offering you this amazing gift, but will you receive it?
