Let me start this off with a disclaimer: I don't think moms shouldn't get credit for playing both the mom and dad role. It's just I have often read about it in the media. I don't think I have ever read something about single dads playing both the dad and mom role.
My dad played both roles and he did it really well, and he deserves credit for that.
For some reason, there's this stereotype that dads are only there to be breadwinners in the family and shouldn't have to actually do anything for the house or children if the mom can do it. As a result, I have read posts applauding men for doing something in their family that should have been expected - however, these men are awarded for it. Again, moms and dads, grandparents, and guardians should receive thanks for what they do for us, but there's a fine line of what should be expected and what goes above and beyond.
My dad passes that line into what goes above and beyond.
My parents divorced in June 2005, and the judge refused to give my dad custody of me twice. It wasn't until the third time that he was given custody. Not because my dad was unfit to take care of four-year-old me, but because Alabama has a stereotype that women are the only ones fit to take care of children. Thus, the judge wanted to give my mom custody of me. My mom was unemployed and living with her parents as she attempted to gather herself again. My dad was employed full-time and had his own house and car. Yet the judge refused twice because he was a male and how would a man know anything about raising a daughter?
Well, Mr. Judge, I have something to tell you. You were wrong.
My dad has done a damn good job.
He raised a strong, independent, outspoken daughter going to school for marine biology. And I'm not afraid to tell anyone that. If it weren't for my dad, I don't think I would be where I am.
My dad was the one who walked me into my first day of school. He was the one who bought me my first four-wheeler. He was the one who picked me up after falling off my bike the first time. He was the one who worked 60 to 80 hours weeks where we could keep a house, a car, my dogs, and food on the table. He was the one who bought me my first pack of pads. He was the one who gave me the sex talk. He was the one who took me to my doctor appointments. He was the one who encouraged me to apply for the International Baccalaureate and EPIC program for high school. He was the one who wrote the check out every year for me to be in the International Baccalaureate program in high school. He was the one to buy my first car. He was the one to help me get my first job. He was the one to help me with my college applications. He is helping me buy my second car. He still continues to help me from two hundred miles away. He was the one who has done everything for me because my mom was only there every once in a while.
And when I hear girls say their mom is their best friend, I get a little jealous because I didn't have that growing up, but then I remember that my dad is my best friend.
My dad has always been there to support me, to pick me up when I fall, and to push me in the direction I need to go to be successful. And while my mom is around now and my dad has remarried, my dad continues to play the mom and dad role perfectly, because that's all he knows, and he's perfect at it.
So this is a big thank you to my single dad who played the dad and mom role. A big thank you to my dad who could have run away when he was suddenly faced with raising a little girl by himself but he didn't. A big thank you to my dad who I owe everything to and will never be able to repay. The biggest thank you to my biggest role model. I love you.
