Last week, my younger brother married his girlfriend of five years. It was a beautiful ceremony, the two of them clearly in love. There were smiles all around (as well as some happy tears) and everyone seemed to have a blast. As I circled around the reception and talked with family members I hadn't seen in years, the one thing that they kept saying to me was "When is it going to be your turn?"
I absolutely abhor this question.
As a single 28-year-old female, the last thing I want to do at my brother's wedding is explain how I am perfectly content being single. Not because it isn't true, but because no one can accept that I actually am quite content being on my own. This isn't to say that I don't go on dates or that I don't want a relationship. What it means is that I am a point in my life where it isn't revolved around trying to find the "man of my dreams" to settle down with.
Yes, I want to be married.
Yes, I want to start a family.
Yes, I hope to find that special someone soon.
No, I am not upset over being single.
Here's the thing: For the first time in my adult life, I have spent several long months focusing on myself - what I like, improving my health, doing what makes me happy without analyzing my every move and wondering how my significant other will react or what they think. Since high school, I've been what some people consider a serial dater. I've always been in a relationship or, at least, actively involved with a single person. For the first time, in a long time, I'm single and that's okay. There's something absolutely amazing about taking some time to be "selfish".
I enjoy working out Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday at my local kettlebell gym. I enjoy spending my weekends either hanging out with friends or staying in while I cuddle with my pug, binge watching The Walking Dead. I enjoy going to conventions and flitting between groups of friends. I enjoy strolling through the comic store every Wednesday night on my own and chatting with the employees about new series. For the first time in my life, I don't mind going to the movies alone or not having a date to some social event or being able to just do something because I want to do it.
I am the happiest and healthiest I have been since I can remember. I've kicked enormously bad habits and the days I look in the mirror, loving and accepting who I am, outnumber the days that I want to curl up in my bed to hide from the world. As little as six months ago, it was a completely different story. Now I can say that my life is pretty good and I'm grateful for the moments that I can take a deep breath and just be me.
Being in a relationship is great and I hope that I can find someone soon to share my passions and interests with, but until then, I am perfectly happy living my life and enjoying the adventures along the way.
