Since you’ve been away, life has continued. Life has continued down the most beautiful and treacherous of paths. And while life has continued with your absence, there isn’t one piece of this life that you are not a part of. Since you’ve been away, the memory of our conversations and the moments we shared together have faded from their once vivid state. But since you’ve been away, there’s nothing I remember more in this life than the smile you once continuously showed and the warmth you possessed that never ceased to spread through an entire room. Since you’ve been away, I’ve made more mistakes than I can count, some I thought I’d never recover from. And with each and every mistake I’ve made, I’ve held my head in shame knowing you have likely witnessed them all. But since you’ve been away, I have accomplished more than I ever thought was possible in these ten short years. I have leaped and bounded through obstacles and uncovered talents I did not know existed. And with each and every one of these achievements, I've longed for you by my side but I’ve lifted my head to the sky and celebrated in the fact that you have watched them all from above!
Since you’ve been away, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed the opportunity of being able to show up to your house in the middle of a stressful week and be soothed by your cooking and conversation. I’ve missed the relationship with you that was never able to bloom into what it truly should have. I’ve missed the life lessons you were waiting to teach me, I’ve missed gaining the wisdom that only you possessed. I’ve missed the recipes you did not yet give me, I’ve missed the celebrations at your home that you would have never not put on. I’ve missed you at graduation, I’ve missed you during heartbreak, I’ve missed your comfort on my sick days at home. You’ve been missed at numerous weddings and births and birthdays and milestones. You have been especially missed at every single holiday that every year holds, for there's always an empty place in the room in which we know you should be sitting.
Alas, since you've been away, I have loved you. I have loved you every morning when I open my eyes, and each night as I drift into sleep. I have loved you the way you taught each and every one of us to love, with our whole hearts and with no regret. I have loved you in every picture that shows your face, I have loved you when you come to me in my dreams. I have loved the words you left behind, in old birthday cards or a grocery list posted to your fridge. I have loved knowing there will be a time in which we will meet again, and the hope of that helps me get through even my toughest of days.
Since you've been away, I have loved that I've had the privilege to love you, and more than anything else, to have had been loved by you as well.
