At some point in time, someone will say to you, "Oh my god, you're so funny. You should be a comedian!" And in the ten seconds you spend pretending to be modest by saying,"What, me? No way. I mean, I'm not that funny," you will realize it's the tenth time this week someone's said that. Yet, Netflix has not offered you an hour long special. So what's the truth?
Here are nine signs you're funny, but not funny enough:
9. Self-deprecating humor is your go-to
Making fun of yourself is a staple in comedy. You know you better than anyone else, so why not use that material? Unfortunately, that material gets stale and you just seem to have really, really, really low self-esteem. Unless you're being ironic - then you're a twitter god.
8. You're weak on puns
You claim to love em', but you don't really have any except the ones people tell you. Your arsenal of funny is sad and you definitely need to branch out.
7.People say you should be a comedian, but offer you no job
If people highlight a good skill or quality about you, they usually suggest a suitable profession or similar person, and then give you their info: "Oh Heather, you're so good with hair. My cousin runs a cosmetology school, you should check her out!" How come no one's offered me Ron Howard or Mindy Kaling's number and a shadowing position? Who do I have to talk to to get some where past your lighthearted suggestion? I NEED ANSWERS.
6. Your mom says, "You think you're funny?" as a testament to how not funny you are, but also how much trouble you're in
That one's plain and simple. It probably was funny what you said, but you chose the wrong God fearing matriarchal authoritarian to say or do it in front of. Just apologize and run.
5. You take jabs at famous people when you're angry and petty
Unfortunately, Saturday Night Live is using all the good material and they pay their writers to do it.
4. No one takes you seriously
All the real comedians get people to donate to charities, rethink stances on 'the issues' (what issues is anyone actually referring to?), or get heckled and media backlash. All you get is a "Girl, stop playing!" or "Girl, quit being stupid".
3. Most of your funny stuff comes from story-telling, which you suck at
Can't really tell that many funny stories to save my life. And not ending with "you should've been there" when you're crashing and burning, is like the first cardinal rule of amateur comedy. (I don't know if that's true).
2. When you don't run for class clown or funniest person, but secretly hope that people will write you in (and they don't)
If you genuinely believe you're fun you either run for the superlative or trust that your popularity will secure the win. I did none of those things. Am I still bitter about this from high school? I don't know, you tell me.
1. You can't be funny on purpose
I'm honored when people introduce me and use adjectives like smart, nice, and funny. I can sound smart and behave politely on command. I just can't be funny on the spot, and that's usually what people want. If it's not natural and I'm not being witty, then this ship is sinking and I'm taking everyone down with me.
