My twin sister and I are no more closely related, genetically, than you and your baby brother. Despite our lack of common DNA, we shared a womb for nine months, and there's a bond created there that spans two lifetimes.
Whether you're an identical twin set that could easily swap out for your sibling, or a 100 percent fraternal pair, like my sister and I, there are a few things all sets of womb-mates have in common.
1. People ask about your "telepathy" all the time.
Twin telepathy is 100 percent a myth. I've never been able to read my sister's mind, and she's never been able to read mine; that will always be true. I will say, however, that while telepathy isn't a thing, empathy most definitely is. When my sister's in trouble, I feel in trouble. When I'm sad, she's sad -- just because we understand each other better than anyone else, not because we're telepathic.
2. Growing up, you were never alone.
Hello, built in best friend. When you were a kid, you didn't need the kids down the street, because you had a kid in your own house who was always around to hang out with. The adventures the two of you got into won't ever leave your mind, and the memories you made are some of the most cherished memories you have.
3. "Are you identical?"
Even if you are an identical twin, odds are people still ask you if you're identical or fraternal. This is okay if you're the same sex, but it is not a legitimate question if you are opposite sexes. No, my sister and I are not identical twins. Forgive me for being candid, but my sister and I have critical anatomical differences that prevent us from being identical twins. Connect the dots, folks.
4. Matching clothes still freak you out.
If your parents were individual-minded like mine, you likely escaped the horrors of matching clothes. If you weren't so lucky, and frequently sported complementing Gap sweatshirts as children, you might be prone to over-think matching clothes as a teenager or adult, constantly checking with your sib to see if you're accidentally complementing.
5. You're still apt to label everything you own with your name.
6. Your name sounds most natural when paired with another.
My name is just find standing alone, but especially when I was a kid, it sounded most fitting on the tail end of my sister's. When you grow up a twin, everything comes in pairs, including your names. It can take some adjusting to getting used to standing alone.
7. Separation anxiety isn't that real, but you sometimes feel it.
Along the same lines of your name standing alone, it can be difficult to stand alone as a person. Depending on how independent your parents pushed you to be, this can sometimes lead into borderline codependence as young adults. Regardless, sometimes it gets anxious when you suddenly don't have anyone to fall back on, anymore.
8. When you made decisions as a kid, there was always an added variable.
I remember as a kid, making any decision was a back-and-forth process that lasted several minutes, if not hours. Would I spend the night at my grandparents' house that night? Even if I knew solidly what I wanted to do, my sister's decision always had some sort of impact. As we grew up, we learned to make decisions independently, and then deal with the outcome(s) together, but she still plays a role if we're debating the same issue.
9. As an adult, people don't always believe you have a twin.
Especially having a twin sister, it's always a discovery when someone I've met independently finds out about us. In college, this has happened so many times. I have an Instagram photo collage from our birthday, last year, bookmarked in my photos app because people always want to see a picture, even though our looks would never reveal we're twins.
It's almost like twins are some sort of mystical thing that people haven't seen before. I'm used to the surprise, but the disbelief -- that's new.
10. You'll never know how to answer "How do you like being a twin?"
I've been asked this question more times than I can honestly count, and I don't think I'll ever know how to answer it.
I've never been anything but a twin, and I never will be anything else, so there's no reference point for me. I suppose I could say I like it pretty well, considering I enjoy my life pretty well, but I still feel weird giving a definite answer.
11. You've always had (and always will) an incredibly special best friend.
In writing the header for this last item, I struggled to find words, because "best friend" doesn't do justice for the relationship I have with my sister. I have had several great best friends through the span of my life -- people who have been there through thick and thin, and people I trust with anything, but it's hard to explain how the bond twins share is different.
Nobody knows me better than my sister, simply because nobody has spent as much time with me. Nobody has seen me at higher highs, or lower lows and nobody will ever understand my story like she does.
This is mostly because my story is her story and, together, our story is one of the most special things God has ever created.
