We've all been there: thinking back on friends we once had that we really wish we'd been without. Whether this has been a recent episode of your life or a middle school friend from 10 years ago, through all the pain you endured, you learned your lessons the hard way, but you learned. Sadly, there were likely some serious red flags showing up from the start, and like many of us, you probably chose to ignore them. So, here they are, just a few of the many signs that this girl wasn't really your friend from the start:
Your successes weren't worth her celebrating, too.
A real friend is not going to be dismissive of your achievements. If she doesn't get so excited that you got a date with the boy you've had your eye on for a while that you'd think SHE was the one with a hot date, then she's not your friend.
She showed signs of jealousy.
Whether it was an upcoming date, your new car or phone, or your GPA, she treated her friendship with you as a competition.
You know the old phrase from elementary school, "secrets don't make friends, friends make secrets"?
Yeah, she kept secrets from and lied to you, lots and lots of times. And it hurt like hell once you found out. Why? Because you're a great person who takes promises seriously, and you expected her to do the same.
There were several instances that you were afraid to tell her something because of how she'd react.
You had to walk on eggshells when it came to her, and that made it hard to talk to her most times. She'd blow up, she'd overreact, she'd take out anger or frustrations on you.
Every conversation was about her.
Oh my God, everything she did was SO amazing and SO important and her problems were like the end of the world. She never stopped talking about herself long enough to ask how YOUR life was going.
She was most "interested" in your life when she needed you or wanted something from you.
And when she DID bother to ask you how you're doing, she immediately followed with asking for a favor.
She brought up the past... a LOT.
She kept strict record of every time you didn't live up to her expectations and did not hesitate to bring them up every time she thought it would advantage her, which leads me to my next point.
GUILT TRIPS.
Obnoxious, hurtful, petty. Tell-tale sign of a bad friend. If this is the first defense mechanism in her arsenal, there is no telling how low she can stoop.
She's the one who made all the plans, or she always put off yours.
Her ideas and plans always worked out, and she was sure to enforce them, but yours always fell through. She wanted no part in plans that she didn't make, so what you wanted never happened. Or by some off-chance that it did, she had to make it all about her.
When you told other friends about how she treated you, you had to make excuses for her.
"But she didn't mean it in, like, a bad way!" "She's just very blunt!" "She was just being honest with me!"
Her "jokes" didn't feel like jokes, and they were often at your expense.
"Oh my God, I'm just kidding! Learn to take a joke." Yeah, no. That gets really exhausting really fast.
She didn't respect your time.
She expected you to do things on her terms, work around her schedule, be there when she wanted. She had no regard for what you may have had going on outside of your "friendship" with her.
She was always right and you were always wrong.
Arguing with her was TORTURE. She never wanted to admit that she made mistakes, always pinning all the blame on you. Eventually, you either sucked it up, swallowed your pride, and apologized, or you actually believed her and allowed yourself to take all the blame. Either way, her unrealistic expectations took a toll on you.
She treated you differently in front of other people.
She found any small, insignificant thing she could put you down over and always had to make herself look superior to you in every way.
You found out she was talking about you behind your back.
You didn't want to believe it, but it happened again and again, friends coming to you with conversations, message after message of her having bad things to say about you, who considered her a friend and always treated her with love and respect.
You felt something was up for a while.
When it comes down to it and you have to be honest with yourself, you saw this one coming.
When it comes down to it, even though this friendship may have felt like a waste of time or more hurt than it was worth, you figured out a thing or two(or hopefully, 16) along the way. You learned a hard lesson, and boy, did you learn. But, at least that period of your life is over and you have new insight into the friendships you now have and will continue to make for the rest of your life. Take that knowledge with you and in the future, you'll remember those tell-tale signs that she really isn't even your friend.
