When it comes to friends or relationships, we've all had our really great ones and then on the other hand, we've had our terrible ones (side eye to all the bad ones). Just kidding, well kind of. But the bad friendships and relationships are important reminders of what we should be looking for the next time we seek someone to date or to just be friends with. There are four ways to see if you are involved in an unhealthy friendship or relationship. Let's take a look at all of them and break it down. Ready, go.

Connection:
In relationships, there is a physical and emotional connection. And in a friendship there is an emotional connection. In both of these connections, it's extremely important to share your heart and to feel that your heart is safe. When giving your heart to someone, be careful to see if your friends or significant other can respond responsibly to your vulnerabilities and feelings. Essentially that is how bonds are built, maintained and how they continue to grow. Think about these questions:

• Can they share on an emotional level?
• Can you be assured that your bond will not be broken, but instead be protected?
• Do they listen to you and empathize with your feelings and vulnerabilities?
• Do you feel as if you are the only one trying to connect in the relationship/friendship or do you feel secure and confident?
  
  

Boundaries:
This is extremely important. When you make the efforts to put boundaries in your relationships with others, you are creating a property line that defines where you end, and someone else begins. The best relationships hold this standard at a high level of importance and make the conscious effort to have respect for the other person.

Do you fee like you can have space or be away from this person for long periods of time without feeling guilty? When you don't want to do something, do they become unreasonable when you refuse? You have the right to be in control of your own body and what you do with your time. Think about these questions:

• Do they push you in other areas, such a physical area, in a dating relationship?
• Do they hear you say "no" when they push you further than you want to go?
• Do they pressure you into spending too much time with them?
• Do you feel as if your choices are valued and respected?
• Is it their way or the highway?

Perfectionism:
The way someone handles the imperfections of their friends or significant other is important. No one is perfect and no one will ever be perfect. Have you ever felt pressure to be "ideal"? When it comes to relationships, perfectionism can be displayed in the pressure to act or look a certain way so that your partner will be happy or satisfied. In friendships, there is pressure to never make a mistake or to never let them down. Do you feel like you have to be perfect in these relationships? Think about these questions:

• When you make a mistake, do you feel that you can tell them you've failed? Or are you afraid that they will judge you and expect more from you?
• Is there an "image pressure" in the relationship? Do you feel like you're pressured to be someone that you're not?
• Do you feel like you cannot be yourself? Do you wish that you could be?
• Can you share and reveal your faults or admit things about yourself that aren't so great?

Equality:
Feeling like you're an equal part in a friendship or relationship is important. It's common in these relationships to see the "one up/one down" dynamic. One person always has to be in charge and the other one plays the role of being submissive. This has to do with being dominated. Dominating relationships are very unhealthy and very immature, often leading to a hault in emotinal growth for people. Do you feel miserable or limited? Think about these questions:

• Do you feel like you're always being put down or undermined?
• Do you feel like you are being judged in everything you do?
• Do you feel that the other person always has to be in the superior position?
• Do you feel like you have no freedom or say?

These are important questions to consider in both a friendship and relationship. If you relate to any of these four principles or all of them, it is important for you to get out of that relationship. You're worth so much more and deserve to be free of whatever bondage you feel is holding you down. Take back the respect that you've lost and remember to surround yourself with people who love and care for you.