For the past 4 years, my summers have included sitting in a stand and watching a pool.
Lifeguarding was never the most exciting job, but it did grant me the exclusive bragging rights to pretend I saved lives every day and walked in slow motion like Baywatch on the pool deck. In honor of hanging up my whistle and guard tube for good, here are six signs to know you're a part of this exclusive bunch.
You will pray for rain in the dead of summer.
GiphyThunder is a blessing to a lifeguard's ears. Just one sound and you have a guaranteed 30 minute (or longer) break.
People complaining/yelling at you doesn't phase you.
If you work at a pool, the complaints are never ending. Be prepared to hear about how the hot tub is too hot, the thunder you just heard is just "an excuse for you to have a break", and how the bathrooms smell worse than any smell in a hospital (all 100% real complaints I have received).
You can't wear a bikini because your one piece tan is so bad.
Ah, yes. Thanks to lifeguarding, days at the pool when you're not working involve trying to get rid of the circle tan on your back that won't be going away for at least another year or two.
Kids playing "the breathing game" gives you a heart attack.
To jump in or not to jump in? Kids will wait until you are on the edge of your lifeguard chair to pop up out of the water completely fine.
You and your coworkers are the best of friends.
Who else can you vent to about patrons or pool-specific issues? No one else will get it, and it's fun to go to work with friends everyday.
Even though you say you hate it, you love lifeguarding.
Seriously, what other job pays for you to get tan, make friends, and be by a pool all summer? Even though it's not exactly as glamorous as Baywatch, you wouldn't trade the best summer job for anything.
