This year has not been the easiest for my family.
This past March, my loving grandfather went to be with the Lord. His death was not unexpected, but it was certainly not easy for any of us.
The first time I went into their house after he passed away was sickening for me.
I did not want to walk into the living room, which is connected right with the kitchen as you walk in their side door.
Pap would always be sitting in his chair in the living room. He would be covered up with a blanket watching the Outdoor channel.
I simply could not bring myself to walk into the room and not see him in his usual spot.
It was one of the rawest feelings knowing that we would never be able to hug him again or ask him what kind of bird was on a specific tree.
He went with me on my first visit to Susquehanna University, which is where I would end up choosing to further my education because we loved it so much.
I have memories with him everywhere, and that is why I believe that it is so hard to live and function without him.
Lately, I have been questioning my sanity by asking myself if my pap is truly gone. You always hear about people saying that their loved ones who have passed are still near, and naturally you smile and say 'Yes, of course, they are' to comfort them.
But I am starting to believe them because of what my family and I have experienced in the past few months.
After he passed, I started seeing 10:26 repetitively on the clock in the mornings and evenings. October 26th is my birthday.
At the start of it, I rounded it up to coincidence and went on until it happened every day for a whole week towards the end of my senior year.
I asked my friend who was into tarot readings and horoscopes and all that jazz if it meant anything or if it truly was a coincidence. What she told me shook my being to the core.
She said that seeing your birthday numbers repeatedly meant that someone who was not with me anymore (pap) was trying to get ahold of me or just let me know of their presence. Now that I knew this I anticipated seeing my birthday numbers.
When he passed, I knew that certain days out of the year were going to be extra hard, like holidays and birthdays and especially my upcoming graduation. Pap really wanted to be here for my graduation and for my college years.
The night before graduation I had a few crazy dreams.
The only one I can remember was my pap appearing in front of me and telling me that he would be at graduation and would be sitting beside my grandma.
I woke up and sort of brushed it away, thinking that it was just my mind wanting him to be there.
The day of graduation was a busy one of course, and I can honestly say I had not thought of pap; that was until I saw one of the most remarkable things.
After graduation practice, I had gone with one of my friends to a softball game to support another senior, and on our way back we stopped at Taco Bell.
After I had ordered, the cashier told me my total and I about fell over.
My total was $10.26. Needless to say, I saved the receipt.
We went home and before you know it, we were lining up outside of the auditorium to graduate.
My mom and grandma had tickets for the front. There weren't very many tickets so all of the seats in the front were taken. All of them... except for one.
Somehow there was a mix up with our principal and one bare seat stood alone beside my grandma. It looked bare to everyone else, but I knew exactly who was sitting there. Pap scored a seat after all.
Not only have I had experiences like this, but my grandma has too.
Grandma has had a big yellow butterfly flying with her as she mows. Yellow is her favorite color.
She even said to the butterfly the last time, "Mike, I know it's you mowing the grass with me."
These signs from heaven have brought a sense of peace to our family and hopefully, someday you'll get to experience these as well.
