It’s happening.

Again.

Your friend (yes, that one) is pushing you so hard that you’re about to a hit a record low of stress and negativity.

You’re powerless, you’re embarrassed; as a friend, you should have a better handle on dealing with this, right?

“Maybe I’m too hard on them”

“Maybe I just need to brush it off” (AGAIN)

“This is just how they are. . ."

Before you resign yourself to your friend’s behavior, know this: If you’re in any sort of relationship with someone who is toxic, chances are you’ve been bending and flexing for a while to try to make it work.

Stop.

Just STOP.

You can only change the things that are open to your influence and toxic people will never be one of them. Here are some of the ones to watch out for:

1) They belittle and trivialize you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams

2) They constantly play the victim in order to deflect blame on you rather than take personal responsibility

3) They repeatedly cross boundaries and ignore common courtesies

4) They do their best to put you down

5) They'll make fun of you in front of other people to try and be seen as better than they are

6) They use your friendship to manipulate your beliefs and actions in order for you to do what they want

7) They try and use your friendship to make their terrible actions seem more bearable

8) They make it clear that in comparison to them, your accomplishments don't matter

9) They withhold from spending time with you (but not with others

10) They refuse to believe that they are the ones in the wrong when you bring up previous bad behaviors

As someone who's had multiple experiences with emotionally abusive friendships (some in the distant past and some within the past few months), I know that it's hard to admit that the negativity in your friendship could be coming from the one you want to be close to. You may feel as though by admitting that your friendship is past the point of no return that you've ultimately failed in the whole 'friendship' game. But it's important to remember that abusive friendships are just as real as abusive relationships and emotional abuse can be extremely damaging.

You don't deserve to be anchored down by selfish people; you deserve to be surrounded by those who will lift you up and cheer you on rather than tearing you down for their own happiness.