Abuse doesn't always have to be physical. Abuse can be emotional, verbal, or mental. While abuse cannot be compared, every person's experience matters. Every person's voice matters. Your safety matters. If you feel that you may be in an abusive relationship and you are looking for help, please call 1−800−799−7233 or visit thehotline.org (please be advised that your computer history may be monitored).
1. Your partner becomes extremely jealous and/or possessive. If they say things such as, "you can't wear that out" or "you need to come home now", there is a fair chance that you're experiencing abuse. Controlling someone and treating them as property is never healthy.
2. They isolate you from your loved ones. If they attempt to coerce you into cutting ties with your family and friends, that is a major red flag. A healthy relationship should consist of spending time with people other than your significant other and maintaining friendships that you formed prior to dating your partner.
3. Your partner has a past of violence, abuse, or relationships that have gone terribly bad. You should be skeptical if your significant other blames their ex for all of the problems they had. If they constantly talk badly about their ex, they probably would do the same to you. It can also mean that they are unable to take responsibility for their actions and wrong doings.
4. They believe in extreme traditional gender roles. While gender roles are not always negative, there is a good chance that if they believe you should be doing something you're not comfortable doing just because it's a societal expectation, they don't care about your feelings and comfort.
5. Your partner says mean things about you or about others. If you're being berated or talked down to, that's never okay. Even if your significant other promises that they're only jokes, if it makes you feel less than, it needs to stop.
6. They are mean or violent toward animals or children. This one goes without further ado.
7. You are fearful of your partner and the emotional instability that they come with. Unpredictable behavior is often an indicator of abuse and mistreatment within a relationship. If ever begin to feel afraid of how your significant other will react, it's time to create a plan to safely leave them.
8. Your partner discredits your accomplishments and disregards your goals and ambition. Someone who doesn't care about what you dream of doing in life doesn't care about you. If they discourage or try to get you to let go of a life-long dream, it's likely because they don't want to lose control over you.
9. They threaten you. Often times, an abuser will manipulate you into doing something that they want you to do by threatening you. They may threaten to leave you or even hurt you. Many times, the victim will give into what the abuser is demanding out of fear.
10. Your partner ignores or refuses to respect your boundaries. This can be in terms of sexual activity or even everyday life. If you are constantly telling your significant other that you don't like something they are doing and they continue to do it, it is abusive behavior. Similarly, if they make you feel bad for not wanting to have sex, they are showing signs of abuse and manipulation.
There is never an excuse for abuse. If you or someone you know is suffering, please reach out to someone who can provide you with the necessary resources to find a way to safety. If you need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to contact me on one of my following social media platforms:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Shelbynicolex
Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/shelbynicole.xo/
Email: se578@nova.edu
