The blur. It’s the scariest part. What do I do? Where do I go? Who do I turn to? So many things revolve in my mind causing it to shut down. How does that happen? These are supposed to be the best years of my life. Filled with fun, magic, adventure. And now that has become the last thought on my mind. And that list of thoughts is long. The problems are many and the happiness is scarce.

The pressures that people in their early 20’s go through in today’s society are so ridiculous.

Be pretty or you’ll fail.

Be smart or you’ll fail.

Be loved or you’ll fail.

Be kind hearted or you’ll fail.

Be strong or you’ll fail.

But above all, be different from thousands of people trying to go the same places as you or you’ll fail. Those expectations are unobtainable. Do these things help you in certain things that you may going for? Absolutely. But how do you expect me to focus on one thing long enough and well enough to perfect it? Why is my mind in a million different places? Society puts pressures on us that make us believe that we have to be so well rounded and so superior in all aspects of our lives. That is something only few experience and many envy.

School and the unrealistic goals of studying hard and getting a 4.0. Dealing with such high stress in graduating, or getting a job after college, or getting into grad school is exhausting. Spending more hours in the library than my own apartment. Why?

Money and the unrealistic goals people have of obtaining it. Geting a job and making money for yourself is easier said than done considering everything else people our age have to deal with. I mean shit, they say money is happiness right? Nobody in their right mind deep down agrees with this but walking into society it sure does feel that way. Why?

Love and the unrealistic goals that you’ll meet your sweetheart freshman year and date them all throughout college. “You’ll meet your husband in the library.” Wrong. You’ll meet a nothing more than special boy in a frat basement who gets bored with you after a week. Why?

The future and the unrealistic goals that you’ve had since you were 14. The future is scary and no one on this planet can predict what will happen. It’s beyond my mind’s capacity to think about how I have no idea what will happen even tomorrow. Everyone puts such an importance on knowing what your own future holds when we aren’t even guaranteed tomorrow. Why?

The elements of my life run circles in my mind. It won’t stop. I can’t turn it off. And it’s making me sick. The dizziness.