One thing that really gets me about physical ailments is that life is already hard. Right? Being a human being is already extremely difficult, with the Everests that must be climbed and the jagged cliffs that halt us in our path and the whatever else may rock us around like ice cubes in a margarita shaker.
And then, you get sick.
And when sickness hits, it always seems to take over. It becomes a major player in what you think about, how you go about your day, your motivation levels, attitude, etcetera and on and on. I can’t begin to imagine what those that are chronically or terminally ill must go through, and my heart really goes out to them. Physical and mental suffering are both so taxing on the human heart.
When I was younger, getting sick was almost like a prize to be won. I’m sick? I get to stay home with mom? I get food brought to me in BED? With a onesie on all day? It was the coziest of experiences, minus the physical discomfort or pain.
Now, mom isn’t there (although in spirit, she is, always loving me from Denver— a constant comfort), because I’m at school, in another state, and if I want to eat in bed, I need to make some food myself.
Adultlike sickness at school has meant a lack of tissues when I need them most, cleaning my room during move-out— with a fever, riding to urgent care alone in an Uber, and a general additional symptom that comes with it all: homesickness. Because no matter how much you may come to love a new home, it’s nothing like the home you left behind. "Home is where mom is" says it all.
Having said all of this and having complained far too much already, which I loathe to do, those down-in-the-dumps time periods of head pounding and hacking up mysterious things build a lot of character. I think the worst sicknesses bring me to moments that make me want to give up, curl up on the floor, and just not face the world, but adult life (if college is fully considered to be such a thing) doesn’t really allow for that, because the show must really, truly go on. Self-care is extremely important, but even when caring for yourself, it’s nearly impossible to let things go, because there are a million of these things to be done.
Homework, actual work, laundry, phone calls, deadlines, I don’t know—eating? Bathing? Important. And being sick sometimes makes even the simplest of tasks feel like a trip to the Moon. But you do it, because you have to, and you want to keep going, and you want to succeed, and you are sure you’ll be okay if you just keep pushing. It’s awful, but rising up on the other side is such a triumphant moment.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, take care of yourselves, and take care of each other. Take your vitamins. Eat something that grows out of the earth. Friends, neighbors, take care of the sickies. I know you don’t want to get sick, but one day, you’ll need someone to lean on too. Be the moms in each other’s lives.
