Relating to people who you might not have much in common with can be difficult, it requires you to step outside of the comforting topics or experiences you are most familiar with and place effort in understanding the things that someone else enjoys. I have never had much difficulty relating to my peers, given that different cultures, languages, and perspectives have always fueled my curiosity, though with my younger sister that has not been the case.
She was born in the late 2000's, growing up in a vastly different world than I did. From what I gather, to her, landlines are as much a part of science fiction as say, "Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy." While this doesn't stop us from having interesting conversations or being able to hang out, there always seems to be a level of connection that just isn't there.
In part, the 14-year difference between us places me in a sort of second parental-figure role that limits our ability to bond as simply friends. Even if I avoid any intentional authority over her, there are what seem unavoidable moments that do just that. For example, if we are getting Ice cream and she decides she wants to go look for a book at Barnes and Nobles while I relax and enjoy my ice cream, she has to ask for permission to do so. And while I will surely say yes, the act of needing to ask molds an authoritative image of me. This creates a barrier that puts our relationship in an Older person/younger person dynamic, as opposed to just a brother/ sister.
It would be simple enough to remove any need for permission from me whenever we are hanging out, except she is only 11 so as the older sibling I am responsible for keeping her safe. That being said, I do trust that she is smart enough to make her own decisions and so recently I have begun letting her decide with complete control what we do when we hang out. By giving her control of what we do, I hope it reduces her feeling of being controlled and makes hanging out that much more fun. While this sometimes means that I spend a whole day watching Anime and eating Oreos, if it makes being able to relate to her any easier, then keep the almond milk pouring and silly jokes flowing.
I love my younger sister, though, like any sibling she can sometimes be annoying, it doesn't change the fact that I will do anything in my power to understand and support her. I believe it is important that we put effort into maintaining a lasting connection with our siblings. It can be very tempting to give up on trying to understand who they are and who they are becoming, especially during the ages in which they themselves aren't very certain of either.
Like any relationship, it takes time and work to maintain a healthy connection with our siblings. As we get older and begin to balance a diverse set of relationships, we sometimes prioritize the newer more nuanced relationships over those of our parents, cousins, friends, and siblings. Balancing those in addition to life and all of its curveballs can become difficult, but so long as we recognize the people that are important to us and ensure that they know this to be true, then those bonds will remain strong and positive.
