Why Kimye And Swift Haters Need To Stop

Why Kimye And Swift Haters Need To Stop

Snakes eat rats.
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We all remember the great feud of 2016.

And it wasn’t Trump vs. Clinton.

No, it was the great Snapchats of July, aka Kimye vs. T-Swizzle.

In case you don’t know what happened, Kanye put out a song calling Taylor a “bitch,” saying that he and Taylor would have sex and that he “made her famous.” In the video for that song, he put a naked wax figure of Taylor in a bed with him.

Taylor was reportedly pissed about the song and video, and Kim Kardashian released Snapchats of Taylor approving the lines about sex and him making her famous. Everyone seemingly turned on Taylor. Taylor then said she was upset about being called a bitch and the wax figure.

She did not give Kanye permission to do either. Kim’s Snapchats didn’t show Taylor approving either of those ideas. Despite this, and the fact that Taylor made some legitimate points, she was branded as a snake and a liar. She was told her career was over, and no one wanted to listen to her.

While the media seems to have gotten over this and have moved on to critiquing other aspects of Taylor Swift, like her politics, it reared its ugly head again.

On Tuesday, Kim posted a photo of the wax figure on Instagram with the caption “Famous.” This, naturally, enraged many people. The photo seemingly had no point other than to throw shade at Taylor, and was kind of creepy.

But the reason most people were angry, myself included, was that Kim never had permission to post this photo. And more importantly, they remembered that Kanye never had permission to use her image in his video. Therefore, this is a form of sexual harassment.

Taylor already is a victim of sexual assault. In 2013, she was groped by a radio DJ, and reported him to his manager. After the DJ was fired, he sued Taylor for millions. She countersued him for $1 in order to prove a point. The trial was a long process for Taylor to handle.

She recently told Time magazine that the prosecutors kept talking down to her and insulted her mother. After her mother became too physically ill after her cross-examination, Taylor said she decided to not use any courtroom etiquette and delivered a powerful testimony.

The testimony was so powerful it encouraged several others to report their sexual assaults and reports increased by 35%. Time magazine named her as one of their “silence breakers,” or people who reported sexual assaults in 2017.

However, she remained unsupported and was taunted during her trial, and during Kanye’s video release. Several people made fun of her, saying, “She’s suing another person.” Also, several headlines referred to the trial as a “butt-grabbing trial,” rather than a “sexual assault,” or “groping trial.”

Several well-known websites did not comment on the trial, but would write scathing reviews of her album for not being “culturally relevant,” or a piece of “Trump-era art.” During Snapchat/Snakegate, no one got on Kanye for the wax figure. Everyone just assumed Taylor gave her approval, despite not having video evidence of it.

After Time put her on the cover, so many people have accused Time of only putting her on to sell covers, saying she can’t be a silence breaker because she doesn’t talk about her politics, and that other people should be on the cover because they’ve suffered more.

First of all, regardless of what you think of Taylor, invalidating someone’s sexual assault or harassment is wrong. It doesn’t matter what her politics are, what she’s done in the past, or what other people have gone through. It’s about the fact that Taylor took someone who groped her to trial, won, and encouraged others to speak out.

Needless to say, my fellow Swifties were not too happy. Since Kim had blocked the snake emoji from her Instagram after Tay Tay released her epic comeback single, they went with a different animal: rats. Why rats? Well if you’ve learned anything from "Survivor: Borneo" jury member Sue Hawk, it’s that snakes eat rats.

While I do think this is petty and childish and that we should leave the rats off of any photos of Kim’s kids, Kim was in the wrong here. She posted a naked image of Taylor, without Taylor’s permission, for no reason. In a time where so many people are speaking out on this topic, this should not fly here.

If you are someone who is truly passionate about feminism and sexual harassment/assault, you should speak out against Kim and Kanye’s actions. It doesn’t matter that it's a wax figure and not Taylor’s actual body; it still is a representation of Taylor that was used without her permission. Since she is a sexual assault survivor, you shouldn’t be invalidating this.

But if you insist on being a rat, avoid the snake in the grass ready to strike you with justice.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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'As A Woman,' I Don't Need To Fit Your Preconceived Political Assumptions About Women

I refuse to be categorized and I refuse to be defined by others. Yes, I am a woman, but I am so much more.

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It is quite possible to say that the United States has never seen such a time of divisiveness, partisanship, and extreme animosity of those on different sides of the political spectrum. Social media sites such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are saturated with posts of political opinions and are matched with comments that express not only disagreement but too often, words of hatred. Many who cannot understand others' political beliefs rarely even respect them.

As a female, Republican, college student, I feel I receive the most confusion from others regarding my political opinions. Whenever I post or write something supporting a conservative or expressing my right-leaning beliefs and I see a comment has been left, I almost always know what words their comment will begin with. Or in conversation, if I make my beliefs known and someone begins to respond, I can practically hear the words before they leave their mouth.

"As a woman…"

This initial phrase is often followed by a question, generally surrounding how I could publicly support a Republican candidate or maintain conservative beliefs. "As a woman, how can you support Donald Trump?" or "As a woman, how can you support pro-life policies?" and, my personal favorite, "As a woman, how did you not want Hillary for president?"

Although I understand their sentiment, I cannot respect it. Yes, being a woman is a part of who I am, but it in no way determines who I am. My sex has not and will not adjudicate my goals, my passions, or my work. It will not influence the way in which I think or the way in which I express those thoughts. Further, your mention of my sex as the primary logic for condemning such expressions will not change my adherence to defending what I share. Nor should it.

To conduct your questioning of my politics by inferring that my sex should influence my ideology is not only offensive, it's sexist.

It disregards my other qualifications and renders them worthless. It disregards my work as a student of political science. It disregards my hours of research dedicated to writing about politics. It disregards my creativity as an author and my knowledge of the subjects I choose to discuss. It disregards the fundamental human right I possess to form my own opinion and my Constitutional right to express that opinion freely with others. And most notably, it disregards that I am an individual. An individual capable of forming my own opinions and being brave enough to share those with the world at the risk of receiving backlash and criticism. All I ask is for respect of that bravery and respect for my qualifications.

Words are powerful. They can be used to inspire, unite, and revolutionize. Yet, they can be abused, and too comfortably are. Opening a dialogue of political debate by confining me to my gender restricts the productivity of that debate from the start. Those simple but potent words overlook my identity and label me as a stereotype destined to fit into a mold. They indicate that in our debate, you cannot look past my sex. That you will not be receptive to what I have to say if it doesn't fit into what I should be saying, "as a woman."

That is the issue with politics today. The media and our politicians, those who are meant to encourage and protect democracy, divide us into these stereotypes. We are too often told that because we are female, because we are young adults, because we are a minority, because we are middle-aged males without college degrees, that we are meant to vote and to feel one way, and any other way is misguided. Before a conversation has begun, we are divided against our will. Too many of us fail to inform ourselves of the issues and construct opinions that are entirely our own, unencumbered by what the mainstream tells us we are meant to believe.

We, as a people, have become limited to these classifications. Are we not more than a demographic?

As a student of political science, seeking to enter a workforce dominated by men, yes, I am a woman, but foremost I am a scholar, I am a leader, and I am autonomous. I refuse to be categorized and I refuse to be defined by others. Yes, I am a woman, but I am so much more.

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It's Hard To Stay Friends With A Kavanaugh-Lover, But It's Possible

Or hater.

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If you don't have your head buried in the sand these days, it's impossible not to realize how viscerally raw most people's political emotions are. And unless you live in a bubble, you likely have friends or family who have very different political beliefs with you. If you want to cut off those relationships, read no further. But if you view your relationships more T. D. Jakes style—"I like to see myself as a bridge builder, that is, me building bridges between people […], between politics, trying to find common ground"—then play on.

Before beginning a conversation with a politically-differing friend, put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself: what aspects of their life might have influenced them in this way? Accept that you just don't know what their experiences have been like. Maybe your gun-supporting friend had her house traumatically burglarized when she was quite young; maybe your friend who believes the government should solve all our problems was only able to get hot lunches at school because of government aid. View it as a thought experiment if you will: imagine a sympathetic reason (rather than a judgment-worthy reason) that your friend has this differing viewpoint.

We have two ears and one mouth. Ask them questions and then genuinely listen. As humans, we often listen to respond, not to understand. Try to understand without demonizing or judging your friend. David Livingstone Smith, author of Less Than Human: Why We Demean, Enslave, and Exterminate Others, said that when we dehumanize or demonize others, it acts as: "a psychological lubricant, dissolving our inhibitions and inflaming our destructive passions. As such, it empowers us to perform acts that would, under other circumstances, be unthinkable." Try to accept that your friend's point of view—no matter how much you disagree with it—is (in their eyes) just as valid as your own. Your goal is to listen first, persuade later, argue rarely (or never).

It's not about you. Your friend's support of Kavanaugh's confirmation to the Supreme Court means just that: they think he should have been confirmed. Or if they are angry that he got confirmed, it means just that: they think he should have not been confirmed at the time. Use our earlier thought experiment: perhaps the supporter found fault in the accusations against Kavanaugh or genuinely viewed it as a false accusation, and (whether that happened here or not), we can agree a false accusation is concerning. It doesn't necessarily mean that they think the assault he was accused of is okay—perhaps they think any form of sexual assault is utterly appalling and should never be tolerated, but just didn't happen here. Your friend's view is not personal to you, no matter how personal it may feel.

There's a difference between supporting a politician and supporting an action. If your family member voted for Trump, that doesn't mean they support his personal behavior. (If they DO—that's a different story.) It's like watching Lady Bird (great movie) and someone saying that means you think all children should treat their mother like Lady Bird treats hers. The two could be equated but aren't necessarily. Have you ever gone to the theaters and seen a movie that had elements you didn't agree with or like? The same can be said for politics.

If it seems appropriate, when they are done sharing and seem receptive to conversation, share why you may disagree with them. Times to NOT share: if they are angry or closed off. (Observe both their words and their body language. If their voice was raised or their arms are crossed, not the time.) If they just shared something vulnerable with you (eg. they are vehemently pro-choice because they've been assaulted and got an abortion), now is not the time.

Remember, your goal is not to argue, but to listen and then to persuade. If they're not in a place where they can listen to you being persuasive—then let it go and try again some other time.

When you got skin in the game, you stay in the game. However—sometimes you shouldn't always maintain these relationships. Politicians your friends support don't necessarily fully reflect who your friends are, but political views are an aspect of who they are. To use the above analogy: when you see a movie at the theater, you are supporting it. Even if you disagree with it and warn your friends away, you still paid for the ticket.

And sometimes you don't. Understand when you need to disengage. It's okay to have some things you can talk about civilly and rationally and some things that you just can't. If my friend thinks communism is the way to go, for example, I am able to speak respectfully and rationally about it. But if a person tries to support child abuse, I absolutely cannot have a conversation with them where I try to understand where they're coming from and listen to them without telling them how wrong they are. It's okay to have some topics that mean so much to you that you can't engage with all of them or respect every differing point of view.

When you win, be gracious. And lastly, if you supported Kavanaugh, your friends who opposed his quick confirmation are crushed right now. It's okay if you think that's silly or not a big deal. But go back to the first point: put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if some political issue you felt really strongly about was dealt a crushing blow? You'd want the people on the winning side to be gracious, or try to understand, or at least not rub it in. Maybe you didn't like how the situation unfolded, but your guy's in now. Think of the golden rule and be kind to your friends who are struggling with this.

Just remember:

"Be sure when you step—step with care and great tact. And remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft—and never mix up your right foot with your left."
Dr. Seuss.

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