In my many hours and days spent perusing Twitter and other social media, I've come across a saying many times along the lines of, "If you're not dating for marriage, you're dating for heartbreak." Many have commented on how true it is and saying how it guides them in their relationships. However, I have found the opposite to be true.
Your teenage and young adult years are considered the exploratory years of your life. It's when you discover your passions, your personality, and prepare for the many years of true "adult life". With that considered, why should you consider the people you're with to be your ultimate soulmate? Dating lots of people is OK because it helps you find out what you really do want!
When your only focus in dating is marriage, it can also add a lot of stress to the current relationship. If you aren't spending the rest of your life with this person, then what is the point?
Answer: it's all about the present. Enjoy your moment with your person right now without worrying about where it goes next. Even if you do break up, it doesn't necessarily mean heartbreak. Some relationships simply have their time and place, so focus on making the best of where you're at, and handle the rest later.
In high school, my ex-boyfriend was very focused on marriage. At one point, he told me that he could see himself marrying me one day. When he said that, I was torn — it was supposed to be romantic, but it made me feel overwhelmed and anxious. I barely knew where I was going in life, let alone making a lifetime commitment.
And now, well, he's my ex. In my current relationship, my girlfriend and I take it one day at a time. I've thought about where we'll end up in a few years, but it doesn't scare me. There's less pressure, and we're happier from it.
At the end of the day, it's OK to be excited about marriage! If that's your goal, then I hope you find your person for it. However, don't feel like every person is "the one". In college, there are still so many people to meet and so much personal development to do. Find what's right for you, right now.
